Little Lads & Large Lattes

One of the Wildest Weeks of Our Life

2009-06-05T17:44:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to publish right along with the experience of meeting Hannah for the first time and what this past week has been like, but between the emotional highs/lows of our first 2 days with Hannah, Isaiah's 2nd birthday party, the 48 hour flu (more like 5 days for Isaiah), ER visit doctors visits, and my brother-in-laws wedding....my energy level has hit a new low.
Thurs. - Meeting Hannah (we've added an 'h' to her name).
I thought I was prepared until the moment came. Then I was completely overwhelmed. The house was dark and cluttered and the t.v. was blaring, we were offered a seat on the couch while foster mom went to get her. Meanwhile we are sitting with our social worker and Hannah's social worker. Hannah walked into the room totally oblivious to us or anyone there, and it was clear that she saw this as her moment to explore a new unseen area of the house. Rob and I tried sitting on the floor and talking to her, but how much can you say to an 18 month old that doesn't talk yet? All the while, we were being watch (felt like scrutinized) by 2 social workers and a foster mom. No one else said anything, they just stared at us trying to interact with her in this crowed un-kid friendly environment. I pulled out some bubbles, and hit the jackpot. She loved them, but the crazy fans in the house made it near impossible for her to chase or follow them. This was so much more difficult than I had imagined, but for different reasons. Rob was much better at connecting with her, he was more physical with her and threw her around a bit (which she loved). I just couldn't love on this little girl the way I would have imagined I would have at the first meeting, when everyone was sitting there observing us and observing Hannah. I will never forget the intense awkwardness of that day, and was looking forward to the next day when Rob and I could take her to the park by ourselves.
Friday - Hannah to Ourselves
We picked up Hannah in the morning, and said we would only be a couple hours (to the disappointment of the foster mom)...we didn't know we could do longer than that or we certainly would have. But none the less, with lunches packed we headed for the nearest park. She didn't make a peep in the car, we talked and talked, but she just sat there and stared at us, then out the window and back and forth. She didn't seem scared, and she never shed a tear the entire day. In fact, I am certain she had lots of fun. She has some challenges walking in shoes (she doesn't need them, cause she mostly inside all day), and doesn't grasp the concept of going up stairs, I'm not even sure she's been on a swing before. But we all had a great time. Hannah is very loving and affectionate, right from the get go. She let me hold her and even put her arms up to me a couple times. We did more bubbles and had our lunch on a picnic blanket with some music, to which Hannah showed us how she can get her groove on. Bringing her back was tough, especially after foster mom just put her behind the fenced in play room and kept talking while she walked away leaving Hannah crying and reaching for someone to pick her back up again. As foster mom kept walking us outside and talking, I could hear Hannah continuing to cry softly. Then after a few minutes of treacherously listening to foster mom talk while Hannah cried, she stopped, to which foster mom said, 'see she stops after a little while.'

How are we going to do this? How, for the next couple weeks (YES YOU READ CORRECTLY), maybe MORE are we going to leave her back there every day?
Saturday
9 of our oak trees were trimmed and pruned creating a brush pile at least 30 yards long, 5 feet wide, and 6 feet high. Imagine a large tube shape of brush that obstructed the view of our entire house and our neighbors from the street . And after all that was cleared, the chipper chipped that big pile in like 40minutes, it was amazing. Well, we spent the day getting our yard ready for Isaiah's birthday party and gawking at the amazing pile of tree cuttings out of our yard. You would have thought we owned a forest or something.
Sunday - Isaiah Turns 2!
What a fun day for Isaiah. He spotted his cupcakes on the counter in the morning, and from then on he refused to eat anything throughout the day cause he was just waiting to get his hands on that cupcake. He was so excited! He had been asking for several days when his friends were coming over. Then he would proceed to ask me about each one by name, including all 4 cousins, and all the moms names as well. I.e., his buddy Eli....."Is Eli coming over?" "Yes Eli's coming," "And Jamie coming too?" "Yes Jamie's coming too." And on it would go.......
I had vowed never to do "character" themed birthday parties for a variety of reasons. However, for reasons out of my control, over the past year my son has began an obsession of sorts with the cars from the cars movie. Now, I admit it started to become rather endearing the way he knows like all 30 character names and pretends with them and keeps occupied with them for dozens of minutes on end. So I caved and I gave him a "Cars" themed birthday, to which he was totally thrilled about.
It was a blast of a day, and he couldn't have been more excited about having his friends over, and all of the commotion.
Until that night when both Rob and I came down with the most awful flu bug.....
after a trip to the ER, my mom and dad picking up Isaiah for us,...
That took us out of the picture until Wednesday
Wednesday - Our first full day with Hannah
We all went early Wednesday to pick up Hannah. Isaiah was very excited in the car, and kept asking about her. This was going to be his first time meeting her and we were very excited about that. He took to her right away, and when we showed up, Hannah was a bit apprehensive at first but she quickly took to us again and to him and his energy. The 2 ran around the playroom a bit at the foster home, while we let them warm up to each other. But we didn't want to spend any more time in that house than we needed to, so we made our way out. Hannah does great in the car, she doesn't fuss or make a peep. It's a nice balance from Isaiah who talks nonstop, but which will also prove good for Hannah as she learns to talk.
We made our way to the zoo as a first outing as a family. This didn't turn out to be the best thing for us because for some reason all the children in town decided to show up at the zoo that day....what was it bring 5 kids for free day??? Anyway, the zoo and adjacent park were oozing kids everywhere and it turned out to be quite overwhelming (more so for mommy than for the kids...I'm not used to keeping tabs on 2!). After some lunch at the park we made our way home for our first attempt at nap time with the 2 of them...in the same room....
It was a bit rough, but man, when I think of all the possible ways it could have been worse, in light of that, it went great! We read books, then mommy laid Hannah in her crib and Daddy took laid Isaiah down in his bed. She cried for a brief minute during which we overheard Isaiah say, "It's okay Hannah, it's okay." Talk about tugging on a mommy's heart. Wow!
They slept for 2 hours! Then we played the remainder of the day, had dinner together and made the long trek back to the foster home to bring Hannah back.
All in all Hannah's first day in our house went really well. She wandered around a lot checking everything out. She wasn't interested in the toys so much...but what I have since discovered is that no one has shown her how to play with toys. I talk more about that later.
Today we called Toddler Boot Camp!

More to come...with pics.

Tomorrow we meet our Daughter!

2009-05-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

Wow! It's been 12 days since the last post, and as much as I've wanted to write an update, I haven't been able to put all of it down on "paper" due to the unpredictable nature of this whole process. What am I trying to say????
Well, a week ago today (last Wednesday), we met with the social worker as I had said before to learn more about this little girl. The meeting was amazing. I went into the meeting with pages of questions, but only had to ask a few because the social worker was thorough and gave us such a clear picture of what's has been going on in the life of this precious baby girl. By the end of the meeting, although we were encouraged not to make a decision right there, we 'tentatively' set up a date to meet her. Before we even walked out the of the building, neither Rob nor I had to even speak to each other, we already knew our answer. Just brief moments of eye contact between the 2 of us was enough to know that this was not only what God wanted for our family, but what we wanted as well.

So, after the obligatory 24 hours to "think" about it was over, I called our social worker, and said YES!!!!!

Without further adue, let me tell you a little about her, our future daughter!!! Hanna is 18 months old. She is from Sacramento, and has been living with a foster mom/dad since she left the hospital. We have seen a picture, and think she is just beautiful. Her mom is African American and her dad is Caucasian, giving her a very pretty mocha skin color with big brown eyes (just like Isaiah's) and dark curly hair. She is incredibly tall for her age, in fact although she is 6 months younger than Isaiah, she might be taller than he is!!! (If the myth about doubling a 2 year olds height will give you their adult height holds true.....she might be over 6ft!....wow!). None of the challenges she has faced and currently faces were things that we felt we couldn't deal with. She enjoys dolls and dancing (which scares this tom-boy mom a bit), making me excited to see the beautiful tenderness of a little girl grace this home.

Hanna is legally ready for adoption, which is really just an amazing hurdle that we don't have to first go through. Once she is in our home, we simply have to wait the 6 months waiting period before we can legalize it with the courts. Most of the time, families waiting to adopt children in the foster system, are also waiting for the courts to first terminate parental rights, meaning that the birth family will no longer have any legal rights with that child. This can be an excruciating process for all involved, because the court really does it's best to help 're-unify' the child with the birth parents, regardless sometimes of how interested the birth parents act. We don't have to go through any of that, Hanna is an orphan in the truest sense of the word and is ready and waiting for a family.

SOOOOOO.......the soonest time that we could arrange to meet her, after we gave our 'official' YES (a week ago), is tomorrow! We have had to wait an entire week from deciding yes, until the day we could meet her. And then it may be a couple weeks still before she can come home with us.
Are we nervous? I keep getting that question. Not really, not yet anyway. I think it feels a bit how it did just before our wedding. I wasn't nervous to marry Rob, I was most nervous about the event itself, the spiritual magnitude of it, the weight and importance of it, and even then not until the morning of. In that way, I'm not nervous about our decision or even about Hanna and meeting her. I am most nervous about the 'event' of it so to speak. To think that I will be meeting my daughter for the first time tomorrow, has such enormity to it, the spiritual magnitude of it, and importance of it. I don't' think my mind will even comprehend it fully until the moment (at which point all emotions are a go I am sure). It's strange to think that the enormity of the moment will be nothing more to her than just meeting some new people.

And beyond that, tomorrow begins the day that the coarse of one human life was changed.
God make us instruments of change for your glory, AMEN!

A Baby on the Horizon??!??!

2009-05-15T13:37:00.000-07:00

Almost too much to catch up on already! But that said, time seems to have slowed to an almost unbearable rate this week.

Reason being....we have been chosen as a potential family for a little girl. To be brief, I know that many of you are curious maybe confused about that small detail of a girl, as we've been talking about a boy for over a year. However, something very crucial occurred to me, when God asked me a few weeks ago if I was willing to just be 'available,' and stop trying to control my circumstances. Please ask me more in person, as this is a bit more personal than i want to be here, but we are incredibly ecstatic about the possibility of a girl. I will give more details as we get closer to making a final decision. But for now and until next week when we have our disclosure meeting (a disclosure meeting is one in which the little girl's social worker and us will meet and essentially interview each other, and we will find out all about her history), keep us in your prayers that we will make the right decision for our family and for this little girl also. This has turned into more of an excruciating process than I ever dared imagine, and we haven't even hit the hard stuff yet. Not to be a discouraging to those of you out there that are hopefully considering this as well, but it certainly is producing patience in me if nothing else at this point, well and a reliance on God to set my coarse.

Okay, some new order of business:

I long ago finished "Tears of the Giraffe," and enjoyed it as much as the first in the series...fun read. I moved along to "A Thousand Splendid Suns, " and almost cried numerous times and was incredibly moved by the historical fiction that followed 2 woman through the last 30-40years of Afghanistan's history. What an incredible writer. I was turned onto him from his first book "The Kite Runner, " which was amazing. But this one was about women in the region (the author is from Afghanistan). I am always so impressed when a man author is able to so aptly describe a woman's soul. I love books that develop characters well over time, and this book did so very well for these 2 women. I highly recommend. And now, a deep dark secret to reveal: I am hooked on the Twilight series....never thought it would happen...but I just can't put them down. I'm almost finished with the 2nd book and I stared them on Sunday night...is that bad? She definitely has a way of hooking you with her anticipatory writing, (character development, not so much). I will be getting book 3 this afternoon, so that as soon as 2 is done I won't waste a minute moving right along. Such fun! I am appreciative of the distraction that this book is bringing me now as we wait anxiously to get more information about our possibly baby girl.

Happy Mother's Day! We had a lovely day. We picked up Isaiah from my mom and dad's on Sunday morning and went down to Nugget market for breakfast. It was something that Rob Isaiah and I would do every Saturday for quite some time. They have the BEST pastries...and coffee of coarse. Then we took a stroll along the water with our coffee and food, before packing back into the car and heading for the Crocker Art Museum. What a treat! Isaiah even fell asleep in the car so while Rob stayed with him, I got about 45 minutes of uninterrupted museum time! WEW HOOO! We even got a tour by the museum docent of the current exhibit of Maxfield Parrish. I know I'd heard his name, but was stunned to truly enjoy his work, although none of it was particularly familiar.

I would love to do a tribute to motherhood here, but feel like in my emotional exhausted state I would simply start crying over the weight of it, not do I feel like I have just the right words to give it justice. Being a mom is the single most amazing job in the world, hands down, no questions asked. It occurred to me even, while as a mom we got to be celebrated on this day, that I ought to be praising God instead of receiving any sort of praise. Praising Him for the gift of motherhood, for the opportunity afforded me to be a mom to the most incredible little boy, for allowing me the insight into the heart of God through the lessons I learn day to day alongside my baby, for the joy of watching him grow and learn and explore, for the simple and complex emotion that I feel when his little lips hit mine and the indescribable sweetness in the way he holds my hand. I feel at times I'm grasping at time as I watch him get ever bigger, BUT am thankful for every minute. Here is my precious the boy and I enjoying none other than the grass and a stick after our time at the museum.

And finally in my attempts to work backwards, here are a few pictures of our time at Prom on Saturday night. Yes your read correctly. We were chaperons for prom, and I had quite a bit of fun, from dressing up and buying new shoes (I was bummed when I realized that the bellow picture is the only one we took of us that night...and you can't see my cool shoes:() getting my hair done since I needed it cut anyway, and then enjoying watching the kids. It was so much fun seeing all the beautiful girls (and impossibly awkward boys) in their amazing dresses. Bohemian dresses, and large floral prints seem to be in style and they were just lovely.

Then afterwards I surprised Rob with a small date down memory lane. Even though it was already 11:30 when we left the Prom, at the car, I had packed some wine and wine glasses (and lemonade of coarse for Rob). The Prom was held at the college that we met at, so we took our wine and a blanket and headed out the grass lawn where we shared numerous college days laying around eating our lunch and planning the future. It was so much fun sitting out there late at night dreaming about the past talking about the future. The police slowly passed by us several times but never bother us. Our only concern was whether or not the sprinklers would turn on.

Rob, as the blackjack dealer.

Long time family friend and babysitter, Haley (her parents were the ones that ran in the race with us the previous weekend). Isn't she just beautiful?

Another great babysitter and fantastic girl Anna, crowned Junior princess! So cute huh?

Ahhh, and then there is Robbie, I met him when he was only 2....I was his babysitter, and his girlfriend Sara who is an incredible basketball player with offers just pouring in for her to play where ever her heart desires. Aren't they cute?

Monterey 2009

2009-05-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

We spent an elongated weekend in Monterey last weekend. We try to go every year, and this year we added a big new element to our trip.

Day 1: We took Isaiah to see the tide pools. What an adventure, poor little sea anemones...getting squished but producing a zillion laughs.

(Can you see the seals on the rocks behind us? So Cool!)

Day 2: The Aquarium

We've been several times over the last couple years, but our favorite new discovery this time was this amazing sea horse! Yes, the next picture, although it appears to be fuzzy sea weed, is actually a sea horse. AMAZING. The variety of God's creatures is what keeps me coming back for more.

The children's play area was voted by far, the favorite place for Isaiah. What a kick. They really have an incredible place for toddlers and school age children to explore and let their imaginations take over. What a blast we all had. It was so fun to watch Isaiah learn, explore and just have fun with all the new things. It was much more fun coming with him than it would have been without him. You get to be excited all over again about the amazingness of our world.

Isaiah's "Baby Sea Water" that he got to pick out at the gift shop. He was hugging him and saying, "I wuv him." Ahhhhh, it made the outlandish amount of 6$ possibly worth it. Day 3: With Isaiah off with Mimi and Papa for the rest of the weekend, we got a little R&R to ourselves. This is the view just out from the place we stay at every year. This time of year was great for all the flowers, not so great for the weather. It was WAY to cold for me this weekend. I was a walking popsicle.

Our friends Steve and Darcy joined us for this portion of the weekend. We had a blast hanging out at Cannery Row, Carmel and just lounging around for the day.
Of coarse the big exciting news that prevailed the weekend for us, was the addition of Rob's new toy! The iphone....it is such an amazing gaget, it was tough to put it away sometimes, especially when there were sports stats and scores to look up...even while on the pier overlooking the water, the boys were hooked.

Day 4: The culmination of the weekend, and the big new event - The BIG SUR MARATHON! We relayed it of coarse with Steve and Darcy. The run took place on Hwy 1, which they shut down once a year for this race. It was pretty unique, being able to run on one of the most beautiful highways. We had to be at the bus at 4:15am and ready to go. Steve was leg one, and here I am coming up to Rob on leg 2, then Rob passed off to Darcy at the end. Our time was about 3 hours, 20 min (approx...i don't know our official time). I was absolutely freezing. I never run in a sweatshirt, but as you can see from this pic, I am the only one wearing one...and I didn't care how un-runner like I looked, I was COLD.

Once I finally caught my breath, I turned around to grab a pic of Rob taking off on his leg of the race. Behind him you can see the buses that they used to get all the runners to their appointed spots. It was quite the ordeal, and quite amazing when it was all said and done.

Okay, one of the best parts for me was the unexpected surprise of my friend Eunice. 2 teams of girls from my old job were formed and were participating in this race too. But the best part was that Eunice and I got to run the same leg. Then when we were done, we decided to keep walking just for kicks the next leg (which was 7 miles up hill). It was quite the adventure because at the last minute we realized that all the buses were leaving and we were minutes from being stranded on hwy 1. But we were saved by a short bus on the side of the road that had some extra seats. What a stinking blast riding back in that thing with some random people, and all the while everyone yelling out the window encouragements to the remaining runners.

This one's just for you Eunice, you silly girl.

A few pics of the view along the next 7 miles that I walked (and Rob ran).

Our killer relay team post-race and post-Chipotle!

Boys and Their Nakedness

2009-05-08T10:48:00.000-07:00

All I asked Rob, on my way to work, was to let Isaiah have some time without a diaper to help clear up a small rash. This is what happened instead...FULL NAKED time in the front yard. But it made for some cute pictures, and some fun times apparently. :) Boys and their nakedness....I tell ya.

Life is more unpredictable than we'd like to admit

2009-05-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

It's All about Perspective.... (Does anyone read these long ones?)

Like I said in a previous blog, although April was full of very cool and fun times, it was also full of some difficult moments. The pictures above are of a plane that crashed about a 100 yards from our house, into the front yard of another. Rob and I happened to be on a run when it took place. We were pointing out all the emergency vehicles to Isaiah as they wizzed by us on the Blvd....but then it became a bit scary. There were sooooo many of them, and by the time we got within a mile of the house we also noticed that they were in our neighborhood, and a news helicopter seemed to be circling our house. The plane that crashed was flown by a gentleman in his early 60's, and they are still unsure what happened, but it was unfortunately his last flight. My neighbors were outside when it happened, coming down right over their backyard, breaking off tree branches as it crashed and then exploded into a fire ball. All the men rushed out with garden hoses to put out the fire best they could. The pilot was obviously no longer in the plane (as you can see there was nothing left of it), and was pronounced at the scene. My heart was so heavy for this poor man and his family, and to wonder what his last thoughts were as he came down, and whether or not he really was attempting to avoid streets and houses as some were saying.

Just a week before that on a run with Rob, I was the only witness to an awful bike accident. The man was coming down the Blvd going about 30, and out of the blue he just flips and he and the bike do a couple hard summersaults. Then the man layed there motionless. It was across four lanes of traffic and we were kind of on a bluff, so while I stayed with Isaiah in the stroller, Rob ran over to him. The paramedics were there within about 8 minutes, as I finally made my way across the street. But the poor man was torn up and bleeding from head to toe, clothes shredded, clavicle busted...but neurologically intact...thank you Jesus. Those couple minutes of him not moving had me anxious.

That was the start of the weekend that I had to go to work. This particular weekend, I assisted the parents of my patient talk to Golden State Donor Services about organ donation for their baby girl (not much older than Isaiah), and then proceeded to assist the doctor in removing her from life support and getting her situated so that mom could hold her for the last time while she took her last breaths, all under the watchful eyes of the police....why the police had to stand there in those last moments, I'm still not sure but it will be a criminal case. I've changed my position a bit about end of life for children of abusive parents. I have a bit more compassion now for the situation than I used to. No matter what they did to cause the end for their children, in that last moment, I believe it's a sacred one. I attempt to give them every possible support (whatever that means) and at the same time the opportunity to hold and morn their child in private. No matter what they did, that to me is still a private moment. This particular case burned me up, because I never got a straight answer why the officer felt she needed to be there, and because she was there the social worker felt like she had to stay, and the doctor feeling the uncomfortability of the moment also stayed. My efforts to suggest privacy were ignored. It was a bit frustrating.

And finally my point about perspective. This past month I also had the privilege of caring for 2 teenage boys in their final days of cancer. Each had a different type of cancer, but each became aware of the finality of their days within a day of each other. Both boys are experiencing pain, both are experiencing their last days, and both are enduring the unthinkable...and yet it was amazing to go into each of their rooms and experience something all together different. One boys room leaves you feeling so helpless, sad, and frustrated. His room is depressing simply because the spirit there is heavy and dark. In one moment of weakness I saw into his fear and sadness over his situation, but beyond that he is closed to everyone as is his family...all dealing with the impending death such heavy denial that it's burying them all.

The second boy was incredible! He already had experienced such intense pain in his early life, as he shared with me one afternoon, watching his parents meth addiction. Becoming adopted by his grandparents, and then as an early teen diagnosed with cancer. His room always carried the spirit of hope and life, carrying on the fight to the end. He shared with me the faith in Christ that he found, even though none of his family were "church goers." What an amazing young man. I felt privileged to have been his nurse (and apparently I made his top 5 nurse list :) But mostly I will always carry with me the memory of being able to pray with him and his family 2 days before he died. According to the next nurse, this was apparently the step it took for his family and friends to finally say their final prayers and good byes with him (like I said, he was a fighter to the end).

What I took away from that last month is what brings me around to perspective. What perspective do you carry in life? 2 boys, both with the same outcomes, but choosing to celebrate or not to celebrate and enjoy the life around them. Do you complain about a fussy child? A woman across the street struggling with infertility may just love to be in your shoes. Do you complain about working? Not just in this county, but around the work people would give their right arm to work (well then they wouldn't be very productive...hummm).

Rather, let me tell you about all the things I complain about and need to re-think.

I complain about work:

In the middle east, woman are not allowed to work in some places (even if they are widowed and have children to feed). In most countries woman work just to feed their families....My working provides "fluff" stuff, a comfortable life.

I complain about my husband:

I have a husband...for one....who loves me...and provides for our family....and loves our son...and is active and loves to do different things...and keeps my bed warm at night.

I complain about our crappy carpet (I want hard wood floors so bad):

I have a house; I have a house with floors, I don't have to live on the 9th floor of a commy-block building with no elevator and share a tiny apartment with my in-laws (I had dinner in Romania with such a family, and the 70 year old women had to climb those stairs every day, as did the mom with all the groceries...etc., oh and the apartment was the size of my living room).

I complain about being cold in the winter:

But I don't live in North Dakota.... or in some countries where electricity is only available during certain times of the day, even in cold winter(and although my sister lives in Hawaii, even she complains about the weather from time to time....)

I complain that meal times are such a struggle with Isaiah:

But not only is he healthy, he is not developmentally challenged needing to be fed or needing special food therapies, being fed through tubes (like i have to do for so many children at work...ugggg that liquid food smells so bad!).

Well, that's enough for now. I challenge you to take a minute and look at your complaints in life with perspective. How would others around the world, or just around the block see your position...? Like I said in the title, life is more unpredictbale than we'd like to admit. Family members get divorced, cancer, accidents happen, unexpected unemployment, but in the end how is your perspective. Are you positively impacting those around you with your perspective or otherwise? Life is so fragle...we are not immortal, however, "who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" Stop worrying and live life with perspective.

BIG BOY BED

2009-05-05T23:00:00.000-07:00

Isaiah's contemplative face in the bathtub just before the BIG MOVE!

This month (April) we made the big switch. Isaiah is now officially a "big boy," as assumed by the statement that he now has a "big boy" bed. I am so proud of him and how incredibly well he has done with it. He slept the whole first night without so much as a peep until the morning when he causually walked out of his room and opened the door to our room and said, "mommy sleeping?" Even nap times have gone on without a hitch. The only difficult night was night number 2, he had to learn the concept of not getting back out of bed, but ever since then he's been a champ. Just when we get to the door, he calls out from his bed, "nigh nigh mommy (or daddy)." First night of books in the new bed. Bedtime remains my FAVORITE time of the day. I love reading books and enjoying the few moments of cuddle time that he will afford me. His favorite books right now are, Are You My Mother?, any and all Curious George books (but he has George and the Dump Truck memorized...I am serious....stop at any word in the sentance and he will fill in the blank), If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

First Night! Ahhhhh.....how cute! How he did not wake up when I took this pic is a miracle.

Easter finally

2009-05-05T00:13:00.000-07:00

Whewwwww.....Did I get way behind. April flew by with so many fun events and unfortunate tragedies, I just couldn't keep up. So without further adu, I plan to catch up. Easter weekend was - well - BEAUTIFUL. Saturday we got some long awaited for - lake time (Look how full!).

Happy Belated Easter! FUN FUN FUN. Isaiah had a blast, but I think the excitement of the egg hunt was shadowed by the overwhelming excitement he experienced when he opened his Easter basket to find CARS (from the movie... he already has some mind you)! Lucky for us, we waited for the hunt to be over before giving him his basket. Even all the pictures of him going through his Easter basket are blurry cause he was moving so fast.

And then down to Mimi and Papa's for dinner and a second egg hunt. In his combined life time, I don't think Isaiah has had as much candy and he did that day. So much fun.

2 Fun New Isaiah Phrases:

2009-04-02T13:31:00.000-07:00

2 Fun New Isaiah Phrases:

* This one is best told with a story. The other day the three of us were out at Costco, and Isaiah was walking around being silly when he backed up into a box, the corner of which hit his tush. Immediately, he turned around and started walking (waddling is more like it) backwards towards us, with his butt stuck out, saying very loudly, "Mommy kiss it!"

Any time there is an injury of any size sustained it is always followed by a mommy kiss it, and the magic of mommy's kiss has quite the amazing healing power. This still blows me away, I had no idea how effective this would be when I taught him.

* The other might otherwise be quite annoying if I didn't see the intentional development and need for it in his growing little mind. "What r' doing mommy?" or "what's he doing?" over and over and over maybe about the same task, 5 times in a row, or about other people, and about things that he knows perfectly well what they are doing. But he is working so hard on putting bigger sentences together so I am sure that part of it is giving him sentence structure about things that he can say and understand what's going on. Mommy's driving the car, mommy's cooking dinner, mommy's feeding the dog, mommy's cleaning the dishes or reading, or playing with Isaiah or....pick any number of a million tasks throughout the day, then he repeats it.

Apparently as a kid, I used to love that same expression....could that be genetic, or maybe just normal kid-speak. Loving this talking stage right now. In the picture below, Isaiah was using Thomas and Mac to have little conversations with each other. Let the imagination begin...Anyone have a good book on how to encourage/foster the imagination?

Birthday's, Soccer Games, and Memorable Moments

2009-03-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

Another busy weekend! And no camera...:( ....I can't believe all weekend I kept forgetting my camera.

Happy Birthday Rachel!...another big 30th birthday party on Friday night was a blast. Greg surprised her with friends and family, and we had a really nice time, of coarse Isaiah was the life of the party with all those big people.

On Saturday we got to celebrate Isaiah's good friend Eli's birthday. Happy Birthday Eli! This was Isaiah's first time at Chucky Cheese, and I dare say he was having a blast. The stimulation was a bit much for mom, but dad was enjoying showing Isaiah all the games. The kids have so much fun there it's crazy.

Then after a short nap in the car after the birthday we went out onto the field to cheer on daddy, who was playing in an alumni soccer game at the University. Isaiah always has a blast cheering on daddy, but the biggest hit was all the little hot wheels that mom packed in her purse. You should see the crowd of little boys I always get when I pull those things out. I never go without at least 6-8 of those things. It gives Isaiah a chance to share and make friends, and you should have heard the beautiful sound those things made whizzing down the metal bleachers....yikes! After a while, I made the cars take a little nap in my purse without too much protest. Anyway, the funny thing about the alumni game is that when Rob was playing, I, as the affectionately attentive girlfriend would come to ever game, even the alumni game when he would play against the alumni. I used to think that the alumni looked old! Ha Ha! Can you believe that. Now, Rob's probably the average age of the guys that show up, and the college guys look young!?! How did that happen so fast? Well, the old guys didn't do so bad, they lost 2-1 at the end.
The other fun memory for me coming to the alumni game, is that four years ago, at the annual alumni game Rob introduced me to his coaches wife who worked as a pediatric ICU nurse. It was that small introduction that I believe set the coarse for me in my career. It's funny how you go back over the years and can pick small almost meaningless moments and see how they changed you or set a coarse for your life. That was such a huge, yet small moment.

Fun times to share

2009-03-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago when the weather was just starting to look fabulous, my friend invited us up to her place in Coloma. It's an amazingly gorgeous house that is soo french, it gave me the travel bug in a bad way (well that, and just hanging out with Marianka who is from the Netherlands, and does all these Operation Smile trips all over the world.....sigh.....jealous....one of these days). You can't really tell from this pic, but there are rows and rows of olive trees and I think she said, like 500 lavender bushes. I can't wait to see them all in bloom! WOW! Isaiah was in heaven on this journey cause right across the street, the state parks crew was out doing a large burning, so he got to see many fire-fighters (AKA - inmates getting to do public service, which is why we couldn't get any pics, but the ranger let Isaiah climb on the tractor and check out the fire truck none the less), a fire truck, then we took a small hike down to the American River where we had lunch and saw tons of animals. Just like his daddy, Isaiah could throw rocks all day long, and the 'beach' had enough for a 100 years of throwing. It was such a beautiful day, thanks Marianka for the wonderful time (and the fabulous tea!).

Everyone seems to be turning 30 lately; Happy Birthday Eunice.

A Saki bomb??? Doesn't Saki taste bad enough without putting it in beer? UGG.

Rob didn't wear his dancing shoes, so we didn't join everyone at the club after dinner....and it was literally 10:45 before we were done eating. Yikes! And I do mean, dancing shoes....apparently dress code for men is shoes that are polishable. I didn't think Rob's personal

dress code of flip-flops was going to fly at the door....although I suppose you could argue that his feet could be polished.

SPRING IS HERE!

2009-03-24T10:00:00.000-07:00

SPRING IS HERE!

MY FAVORITE POST YET!
So, I wanted to post this Friday night, on the official first day of spring, however, my dear husband suggested a date night....ahhhh, that took precedence. But I had been preparing pics in excited anticipation of this day. This includes a small documentary about the amazingly different species in our yard. I just love to study the different plants and buds and the way they all have their own special way of saying a bright and cheery hello in the spring.

The first day of spring was BEAUTIFUL. It doesn't get much better for me than this....and the post will follow. Those that know me, know that I am in my element when I'm in the garden, outside, just soaking in all those amazing things that grow and change out in nature. We have a few spring/summer traditions. Thursday (a day early), we busted out the grill for the first time this season and made burgers with Greek salad, oh it just makes my mouth water thinking about it even at ten in the mornings. Pasta and potatoes salads will soon follow. I also got out my Toddy carafe. It is a cold water coffee brewer. It makes about 9 cups of concentrated coffee that I use to make iced coffee drinks for about a week, then I brew up another batch. They are soooooooo good. It takes a lot of the acidity out of the coffee, so it's very smooth.

Well, the first day of spring was calling for a Toddy! & my Sanuk's (my favorite brand flip-flops....shout out Emily!).

Skaggs Trees

Liquid Maple - a bit slower than the rest...it's still to this day taking it's time, while all the other trees already have their leaves. SO COOL.

Japanese Maple - This variety has a green branch, I just love how lovely it is in the winter

Our New variety Japanese Maple - Has green/Brown branches but gets lovely green leaves bursting out of an almost red berry looking thing...but they aren't berries...hmmm

Lemon tree blossom- I wasn't so kind to the lemon tree last year, but it's a fighter, and is growing back all it's leaves. YEAH!

Flowering Pear - despite the rancid smell that most trees apparently get, I have yet to turn up my nose to these (these are the trees that got cut, that Isaiah still so vividly remembers). Aren't those flowers just so cool, they look like miniature fireworks!Don't be fooled - I am keenly aware of all our Poison Oak patches (I wish the dog took as much caution as us), sure looks beautiful though....I just love the analogies that I'll get to use with this one to teach the kids about good/evil. And of coarse, the Oak tress, but they aren't blooming yet, so I got a lovely shot of the pesky blackberry using our Oak as a climbing trellis. The fabulously green path around to the back of the house, I just love the wild grass of spring. Just a quick shot of the wild side of the yard. The creek is to the right...it needs a good slash and burn, but I think that would make the neighbors nervous...brainstorming other ways to remove yards and yards of blackberries and poison oak and scrub brush...A GOAT! Still working on it. AHHHHHHH My Favorite Part! The Skaggs Flowers!

Our Vinca Grove. Couldn't pass up this shot with mannerly little lady bug showing me her rear end.
My Rose transplants took great, they are coming along, and God has answered my prayers and lead our deer to other feeding ground besides the roses! YEAH!

Valley Lily??? This is the only one that stumps me. I just planted these bulbs all along the south side of our lawn, and I can't remember what they're called. If anyone knows, will you let me know?

My Tulips last week, just poking their precious little heads up. They took a year off, and I almost forgot that I had them.

And then!!! They bloomed, aren't they lovely. They're like an old friend coming back for a visit, they are so cheery and bubbly they way they bob their oversized heads around in the wind. AHHHH, this might not look like much yet, but I've been working on these for a couple years. These are lilacs, and I think that I have found a good home for them , so I have high hopes for them to bloom maybe this year, but most definitely next. They take some time. I bought them at Costco, like 4 years ago. But I am certain that they are finally happy!

Having too much fun with my camera. I'm no professional by an stretch, but I was having fun this day. Wish I could have gotten the glare out, I think that' s what I was trying to do with my hand shade.

A Camellia Bud - We inherited this plant. I just love these! So hardy, and they are just beautiful all year with bright green leaves and long lasting late winter to summer blooms. They were a popular plant back in the forties. Isn't the design in that bud just magnificent! The pattern just looks so cool, and then check it out below, after it blooms!

A Camellia flower full bloomed! I love to cut these and float them in a bowel on the table, they last forever that way. It's so perfect, it looks like it came out of a kaleidoscope.
Don't overlook the pansy. Not only are they just beautiful, they do really well with some water and not too much sun. AND THEY'RE EDIBLE....although I'm holding off telling Isaiah cause I'm afraid I wouldn't have any left. I have them on the bridge that leads up to the front door and they are just so cute they way the bounce around when you walk past them. I think they look like they're giggling. Trusty Hydrangea. I have been working to keep the soil acidic in these pots to get me some really blue flowers this year. I can't wait to see if it pays off.

Okay, this is just silly fun, and if you are still reading this right now, I am shocked, but anyway. The following pic is of the bushes that divide our house with the neighbors. I just hate them cause they have thorns and they get these ugly red berries around Christmas time. They just clash something terrible with my vinca grove. I have been trying to connive all kinds of ways of getting rid of these berries....but God did it for me. I think sometimes he has a sense of humor with me. This one day, I noticed a few new birds in the yard, particularly on this bush. The following day, the entire oak tree over the bush was filled with birds of the same type. They were coming down out of the tree by the dozens and eating the red berries. This first picture is what the bush looked like after a day. The next pic is after only 3 days. Berries GONE!!!

And the culprits. I'm telling you, it was really amazing. In 3 days, those birds had the bushes stripped clean of berries, and now they're just green thorny bushes left. SO FUNNY.

And finally what day out in the yard would be complete without a little irrigation tubing fun! Isaiah has found all kinds of new FUN WITH TUBING ideas! The best part for me now, is taking Isaiah outside and taking our time as we go around to all the plants, "caring" for them, learning about them and just enjoying how beautiful and different each one is (the life lesson analogies are endless, I'd like to start keeping a journal of them. Spring inspired my quote at the top right of the page, but obviously it pertains to soooo much more). We have started taking walks around the neighborhood together, on foot just holding hands, and we spot all the daffodils and say hi to them. Isaiah usually initiates the walks. He goes to the end of the driveway while we are outside, and sticks his hand out, and calls, "Mommy! Hand!" then, "Walk, mommy." I just LOVE IT! We'll take 30-45 minute walks easily. Learning about all kinds of things along the way. Man, I just love being a mommy!

All my best thinkin' happens in the shower.

2009-03-19T14:01:00.000-07:00

Before I had kids, I never new how much I would appreciate a day like today...one in which I could shave, pluck and trim all in the same day! WOOOHOO! Instead of Wordless wednesdays we should have Hairless Thursdays, just kidding. I may even attempt to paint my toes in celebration of spring.

Also, I was singing in the shower (you know, while I was actually shaving), this old song called, "and they'll know we are Christians by our love." I got to thinking about all the people who complain and moan about what state our country is in with reguards to our morality. Yes, I do recognize that there are some things that have gone the way side, but maybe the problem isn't as my dad sees it, that we aren't speaking out enough and fighting for what's right. Maybe the problem is that we aren't loving enough, we can hardly keep our marriages together and love the people in our own homes let alone go out and love those outside the four walls of our house. The problem isn't about our moral decline, it's about our lack of love for our fellow man. When are we going to stop making Christianity equate to morality. Haven't we learned yet, man can never make the mark on his own, we can never be "moral enough." Jesus himself told us this over and over, that we will never be able to be perfect moral people, then Paul reiterated it later in his letters. God doesn't expect us to be moral people, people expect people to be perfectly moral. That's why God sent Jesus to cover for our misfailings. How will people know about God's love for them unless we are LOVING them. You are not going to convince anyone of how amazing God is by living some perfect little moral life, cause let me tell you, the more moral you think you are the more prideful you become...that's not a road you want to travel down either.
If I could spread a new message about Christianity it would be this: God is not interested in your morality and your proper rules, He is interested in your love.

Rom 4:15 "But the fact of the matter is this: when we try to gain God's blessing and salvation by keeping his laws we always end up under his anger, for we always fail to keep them."
But this is the exciting part:
Rom 3:21 "Now God has shown us a different way to heaven (meaning, after Jesus came), not by 'being good enough' and trying to keep his laws, but by a new way. Now God says He will accept and acquit us - declare us 'not guilty' - if we trust Jesus Christ to take away our sins. And we can all be saved in this way, by coming to Christ, no matter who we are or what we have been like."

I love that last part, 'no matter who we are or what we have been like.'

Okay, nap time is almost over I better get painting. Then I'm going to try and do some lovin'.

Bowling and Good Friends

2009-03-12T00:12:00.000-07:00

I still can't believe it's true, but Rob says we've never been bowling together. In 9 years? Is that possible..?.? I don't believe him, but I don't exactly have a case or pics to prove it. So this time I do. These girls are amazing, they are my old co-workers from the med-center, and I am indebted to them all. You know how they say that when you go through something traumatic with someone it creates a particular sort of bond with that person. That's true of nurses to some degree because they experience the craziest things and really can only joke about it in it's rawest form with one another. Four of these girls and I all started out of nursing school together in the PICU and they are some pretty smart cookies....don't' let the beer buzz faces fool you. Every now and again Amy is real good about planning events, and sometimes we invite the gentleman along too. So bowling it was....next weekend I get to see them all again for a birthday bash downtown!!! LOVE IT!
Oh, and by the way, Rob KICKED everyone's butt at bowling. What is it with that guy and sports anyway? Hummm I guess he picked an appropriate career.

House Keeping...Fluff pillow?

2009-03-11T00:38:00.000-07:00

Blame it on the rain...ya ya.

Is it stuck in your head now too? Rain rain and more rain, only to be followed by the most beautiful sunshine and blue skies....I am taking full advantage of it. So that along with getting into the rythym of my new job has left me bloggingly unavailable temporarily. But I'm comin' back...That girl, that girl is poisen! Why do I have all these old songs in my head tonight. I'm weird that why.

House Keeping

*Still waiting to hear about our baby. Baby boy Joshua is being prayed for everynight, along with his birth mommy and her family and for her decisions. My biggest prayer right now isn't "God please hurry up," it's, "God please provide all of baby Joshua's needs, even when those around him are not or are not able to." I am completely trusting in God for this need, and would love to have anyone reading this join me in that prayer. I am expecting MIRACLES people, and God is getting all the "What WHAT!"

*Finished another book by Francine Rivers,.....LOVED IT, although it took just a little bit to get into. "The Scarlet Thread." Highly recommend it for all you married folks that have ever gone through a life change with a spouse, and you didn't agree with the decision they made. Nuff said.

* PLEASE please throw away your TV's and computer/video games before your children start to become obese. New research is linking more than 2 hours a day of electronic stuff to inc. risk of asthma (and obesity of coarse). AND LET ME TELL YOU....ASTHMA DOES KILL CHILDREN....AND IT IS UGLY. Please the t.v. is not worth the health risks, throw it out. There is way to much imagination to be had by our precious little minds to let someone else do all the imagination for us. Anyway, it's 1 in the morning and I better quite, I can feel my soap box growing under my feet as I speak, and those 2 thoughts about asthma and imagination probably don't sound like they go together, but trust me they do.

Our First Adoption of the Year!!

2009-02-12T14:57:00.000-08:00

Yeah!! Praise God. Today Dorthy got a new home. As you've read below, I have been looking, and good news came this week. A women from work has a small farm and has experience introducing new chickens into her flock.
BUT - I have never given a pet away before, and I'm a bit sad. When we got our three chickens, they were only day old chicks. I raised them on our back porch until they grew their feathers and could withstand the elements outside. This took about 3 months. So for that time, in our then tiny house, it was three chickens and a dog. I was pretty attached to my babies. And I say, 'babies' because I ventured into this project while I myself was 'nesting' and just waiting for my husband to give me the thumbs up sign that he was ready for a baby...the real kind. I can say now that it must have been an effective maneuver because after living with chickens, he agreed to starting a family. And my mothering got put into proper use.
We named them Dorthy, Mildred, and Theresa after my grandma (Dorthy) and her two sisters. They were always known around town as the three girls, so when we got our 'three girls' I couldn't pass it up. So today was bitter sweet because I knew that Dorothy needed a good home, but it really made me sad to leave her. Isaiah talked to her all the way down to the farm, and mimicked her noises from the back. Then when we got there, Isaiah insisted on getting out and saying good-bye. Then he kept telling the lady to put her down, when she would pick the cage up to walk away. It was very sad, he tried to give her a kiss through the cage. Then on the way home, I called Rob a bit sad, and from the back Isaiah - ever perceptive, said- 'Mommy crying?' 'No, mommy's not crying,' But I sure felt like it. I really do love living things of all kinds, and it makes me sad to see them go.
But the happy news:
In exchange for Dorthy...........
We adopted Hazel. In good old fashion form, my work friend and I did an animal exchange.
Hazel (named after Rob's grandma...we had to keep the tradition going) is a Holland Dwarf Lop. Isn't she cute! So sweet! I got her new home all ready, and Isaiah just loves petting her already. She comes in such good time, just as my maternal instincts to have another baby are kicking in full bore, and we got not so good news from the 'Real' adoption agency...Hazel will be a good distraction. Welcome to the family!Our new farm includes:
2 chickens
1 dog
1 turtle
1 rabbit
occasional deer, squirrels, birds
1 child
2 adult children
**That's a lot of mouths to feed and keep happy....but oh so much fun and worth the work.

2 Questions??

2009-02-09T13:06:00.000-08:00

1. Can anyone tell me what the going rate for babysitters is these days? What are you all paying?
2. Please, please help me find a home for my beautiful Americana chicken named Dorothy. She is the sweetest bird. She never pecks at you, she will just follow you around the yard, she comes when called, and will start laying beautiful blue-green eggs again in the spring. This is my last resort before advertising her on Craigslist. I would love for her to go live with someone I know, or to someone who knows someone I know....you get the point. From what I understand, the people that respond to the Craigslist free chickens ads are not looking for chickens as pets, if you get my drift. Can you say, "winner, winner, free chicken dinner." So sad. Dorothy is named after my grandma, so it's hard to give her away, but the other two chickens pick on her so she can't stay here anymore. Please help....spread the word.

You know you're the mom of a toddler when.....

2009-02-08T12:46:00.000-08:00

You know you're the mom of a toddler when.....

Your husband stands at the bathroom mirror and says, "I need to trim my goat (short for goatee of coarse)."

You reply with, "What does the goat say?" I swear it was almost reflexive the way that came out.

Yes, and then I laughed histerically, and still am as I write this.

(***please note, this 'goat' is after 8 weeks of wandering around europe in '05*** this is about as rebelious as Rob ever got)

An Isaiah First

2009-01-25T14:47:00.000-08:00

The beginning

The end

Okay, I know, I am well aware, I am totally guilty. I am an anal mom. Not only am I very picky and choosy about the 'sugar' in Isaiah's diet, I am also a neat freak. So meals that are messy, are few and far between. I just cringe at the thought of food on clothes, but hey, with bibs and a few stratigically placed bottles of shout around the house, clothes stay looking pretty new!
I gave in, and while Daddy was risking life and limb, (continue further) I gave Isaiah something to distract him from running into the 'danger zone.' Isaiah had his first lollipop. It was thrilling for him to say the least. MESSSSSSY. And before he knew what hit him, he was doused in Shout spray, and carried on playing.

I would just like to point out that it could only have been a man that decided it was a good idea to create a chainsaw on the end of a long stick. And then our neighbor added that it usually is a man's idea to put anything on a stick.

I would also like to point out that days before the trees got a good wacking, we had someone come to the door to advertise tree trimming, but as our neighbor also stated, Rob couldn't pass up the opportunity to do something so manly himself. The trees look fantastic now, and I'm anxiously awaiting spring to see them look even better. I sure am proud of my manly man.

Bodega Bay 2009

2009-01-23T14:19:00.001-08:00

Okay, I'm a little late on the upload (and I don't' mean brain power, although that is certainly debatable)....I finally got a program that I want to use to work on my photos. Thus, although a couple weeks later, I finally get to share with you some pics from our recent trip to Bodega Bay.

If you've already visited Sandy's blog, then some of these pics are repeats. This was our 4th year to go away for a winter retreat with our bible study. Five years total that we've done this, but I was still in nursing school the first year our group went, so we missed it. I totally look forward to this every year. We nixed Tahoe a couple years ago cause it was just too cold, and have been going to Bodega Bay now...a much better alternative. It was 65 degrees and beautiful. The best part is just getting to hang out with our friends for an extended weekend, being silly, laughing and just enjoying each other. This year the house we rented was practically across the street from the water. Good work Brad!
The guys usually do some sort of sport-thing (golf, tennis, etc.) and then the girls take the opportunity for a lunch in down-town Petaluma and shopping at the outlets. They have a Banana Republic there which totally takes my paycheck...LOVE IT, Happy Birthday me!

I don't know anyone else that does something like this, and I totally cherish not only these trips we take together, but these friendships. LOVE YOU GUYS!!

The yearly group shot, compliments of Sandy

Now that's a bunch of fine lookin' women!
The photographers hard at work...on vacation....

Miss Rebekah trying to be good about getting her feet up to take care of that growing belly. She saw my book sitting on the table, picked it up and read the WHOLE thing that night!

An areal view of the haps

Squires packed the Wii, it was almost as much fun watching everyone play as it was playing yourself.

Isaiah and Eli enjoying their discoveries of seagull poop...

Are those the cutest set of cheeks you've ever seen?

President Obama

2009-01-20T17:00:00.000-08:00

Today we welcome a new president into the office, Barack Hussein Obama, just in case you were living in the bush and just so happened to get your hands on a computer, were able to by-pass all the ads, computer banners, and news reals and made it to "Little lads large lattes." I'm so glad that as our country is stumbling along finacially, the 2 and 1/2 billion dollar a year lobbiest made sure to wine and dine the president into his first day of office (you know, just in case he follows through with one of his campaigning statements to not take money from federal lobbiest). 170 million dollars to swear in our new president....SERIOUSLY>>>>SERIOUSLY????? If you start hitting your head against the keyboard, no one will fault you.

A New Chapter

2009-01-17T03:49:00.000-08:00

To follow yesterdays post....I went into work to give them my 2 weeks notice. Oh my gosh...oh my gosh...I'm really doing this....I kept saying all the way down to meet with my boss. I have just accepted a new position at Kaiser in their PICU/Peds units, and as much as I hate giving up my UC Davis job, there isn't anyway to do both. There are lots of great opportunities that I look forward to at Kaiser, and I am hoping that this is a positive change.

In deciding whether or not to take the position, I vacillated back and forth. Mostly because I really want to be where God is taking me. Sometimes our own ambitions can get in the way of a perfectly good coarse. I admit that I stressed way too much (and still am....ummmm...when will I learn) and didn't ever really get a great resounding 'word' from the sky about whether or not to take the new job.

Then tonight I read the following article. It's from a webzine called BOUNDLESS, and although I'm a bit out of their target group, I just love the writers they have, and I still find articles that speak to me.

It's a bit long, but I wanted to include it here, because it sums up the way I ultimately feel about the 'hunt' for God's will.

Are we taking the time to listen to God's voice. The notion should be clarified that He desires to speak into our lives about 'who he is' rather than 'who we are not.'

And so with peace (but maybe not clarity....keep reading), I am closing a huge and defining chapter in my life, to start a new.

God Told Me
by Mike Ensley

God told me ...
I've always felt funny whenever I hear somebody begin a sentence with those words. It sounds so resolute, so certain. It sounds so tangible. With how often I hear these phrases in conversation with other Christians, you'd think it was common practice for God to bend down and say audibly to someone, "Excuse Me, Bob, but please pursue architecture as a vocation. That is My will."
And how about those people who say that God told them whom to marry! Come on! I mean, who is this God who communicates the details of His plans for people in plain English, and why is He holding out on me?
I guess that's my beef with the God-told-me-to story; I've just never felt like I had that kind of clarity — and when it seems like others do, I wonder what's wrong with me.
Are you hearing from God?
That's what somebody asked me one time when I was faced with a big decision (whether or not to move 3,000 miles for a job). When I shrugged my shoulders, his eyes widened. He warned, "Well, you'd better be!"
I tried really hard to hear what God was "saying" at that time. I fasted for the first time in my life. I memorized Scriptures about prayer and revelation. I did a whole bunch of other things that got me closer to feeling like God would have to owe me some kind of verbal or otherwise unmistakable confirmation. In the midst of that, God only seemed more distant than ever.
Truth be told, I agonized about the choice for months after I had actually moved and started this job. Then I felt guilty for having made the choice, never having felt "sure" that I had gotten the go-ahead from God. I mean, aren't you always supposed to have that?
A popular author and speaker came to a church I attended a few years back, and he talked about this very issue. The message he shared that Sunday centered entirely on how important it was to decipher God's exact plan for your life. According to him, God has one perfect destiny for each person, one calling upon which each believer will be judged at the end of time. Just one.
He referenced the passage in 1 Corinthians chapter 3 about those whose work will be "burned up" at Judgment, even though they will still be saved. A woman called to be a mother cannot be a missionary, the speaker explained. A man called to work in a factory and raise money for his church cannot be a pastor (these were real examples he used), even if his heart is set on serving and honoring God. He made it sound like if you weren't able to figure out exactly what God wanted you to do with your life, you'd end up — at best — spending eternity in Heaven's slum areas, dressed in hellfire-singed tatters.
Exactly how to figure out God's one-and-only plan for you wasn't part of this speaker's message. He did, however, have numerous resources for sale in the foyer.
I realize I'm always giving extreme examples in my articles — but it's funny: I keep running into them.
How many of us believe something like this, though? Like I said, my big life change was accompanied by a lot of agonizing indecision. My head echoed with warnings from those who said that if I should step out of God's will for my life, He would stop blessing me.
Looking back, I can see that this turned my walk with God into less of a relationship and more of a hostage situation.
Listening to Yourself
Since that time I've come to believe that a big part of "hearing God's voice" — which isn't much like hearing a voice at all, at least not for me — is a lot about listening to myself.
Let me explain.
The process has brought me a bit of familiarity with my own inner workings. For instance, I naturally tend to struggle with inadequacy, doubt and obsessive thoughts. Now consider what that means when someone comes along and urges me to listen to the "still small voice" inside. It probably makes perfect sense to them — but then, their internal process may very well be shaped quite differently from mine. For me, though, the concept could turn any little nagging doubt or fear into the warning bell of the Holy Spirit.
The cure for that has been to know and believe more about the character of God: He is gentle, not a bully; He's compassionate, not manipulative; He is mindful of who and what I am, not over-expectant. It is freeing for me to know that thoughts and feelings which bring agitation and doubt may be discarded because they are from the broken part of my nature, which I am now familiar with and rightfully wary of.
A primary characteristic I look for in discerning God's influence is peacemaking. If it's God, then its natural result is peace. One thing I no longer struggle with — but I know people commonly do — is the misconception that peace requires clarity. This false belief is fostered by misguided people like the speaker I mentioned.
Mother Theresa, on the other hand, once refused a man's request that she pray for him to have clarity. Surprisingly, she responded with, "I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God."
Peace comes not from knowing what lies ahead, but knowing that God is the same before, during and after whatever it is.
The other thing about listening to yourself is that the broken side of you is not all you have to go on. That's why I always try to say "the broken part" of me or likewise, instead of making it sound like all I am is trash.
If I really do trust God and take Him at His word, then I will know that He is replacing the bad in my heart with good (Ezekiel 11:19), that He is actively transforming me into His image even now (2 Corinthians 3:18). Sadly, the joy and freedom of this active process has been undermined by many things I have heard from atop different pulpits. But the cool thing is that the more I grow, increasingly the things I want really are right and good. God, rather than hinting at them in a cryptic vision or proclaiming them from a cloud, is planting them directly in my heart.
And all of this is just one of the results of knowing Him.
God's Favorite Subject
I have known people who consult God about every decision. And I mean every one. They will literally pray and ask whether His will for their breakfast is cereal or toast. I used to just laugh at that, but I can really respect the earnest desire to actually make Him Lord.
However, I'm not sure that's how He Himself goes about it. I wonder how much of the time we spend trying to get God's take on a certain situation that He doesn't even want to talk about it quite yet. It's easy to forget how our current circumstances, choices and even emergencies scale according to His perspective.
I think that, most of the time, God just wants to talk to us about Himself. This is not a stuck-up or arrogant way for Him to be — because arrogance is all about an over-appreciation of self. God is literally the best thing to talk about in the whole universe — the universe being His idea, after all. Do you realize how compassionate, how generous, how exceedingly loving He is to invite us to enjoy Him?
So how do you hear God talk about that? I figure that's up to you. God gave us different hearts and minds because He expresses Himself an infinite number of ways. Have you ever been surprised by a sudden swell of emotion, or an unexpected moment of clarity when you just knew that it had something to do with God? Well, however that happened can tell you a lot about how God talks to you.
I had one such experience when I saw Spider-Man for the first time in theaters. Yes, Spider-Man. There was this moment when Spidey came swooping down to rescue Mary Jane, and then before she knew it he was off again, her staring after him with awe and wonder.
I felt really stupid getting choked up at Spider-Man, of all things, but I realized later that what I loved about that movie moment was something I love so much about God. He didn't speak audibly to me, but He may as well have said, "That's Me. I have powers you can't comprehend, and I'm going to fly down and save you, again and again, and you're going to fall in love with Me."
Another example: I recently watched the BBC's Planet Earth series in high definition. My initial intention was just to witness the full visual power of my new blu-ray player, but I was surprised to "feel God's hand" — as they say — all over that experience.
As my eyes took in these diverse images from nature, I realized how much God has written Himself into the world around us. We are literally living in one big invitation to worship the Almighty.
Watching the sweeping aerial views of mountains, deserts and glaciers, I truly felt God trying to express to me how vast, beautiful and intense He is. The Great White Shark told of His fearsome fury, but then watching wolf cubs you could tell He's still a big softy at heart. The deep sea segment expressed sort of a dark side — not a bad dark side, but the mysterious, infinite creativity of God's personality. Then there was this silly-looking flightless bird that hopped awkwardly through Africa's elephant grass in order to get noticed by a mate; God is the original comedian.
Now, I don't watch documentaries and superhero movies for my quiet time. But I am learning to look for God in everything, to "listen" for what He is saying about Himself, to hunt for more of Him to worship. The more I do that, the more I learn that everything I've ever loved about anything has only been a glimmer of Who He is. That's what He offers when He speaks to me, because that is the absolute best.
The paths I take in relationships and vocation are important and I'll be paying attention to them. I'm not going to fret, however, over these things when I am called to get myself lost in the mystery of who God is. The events, the choices and twists and turns of this short little life all pale in importance — and they take care of themselves when we really have His Kingdom first in our hearts. If I could see anything clearly and know what it means, it would be Him.
... let him who boasts boast about this:that he understands and knows me,that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,justice and righteousness on earth,for in these I delight,"declares the LORD. (Jeremiah 9:24)

Adjusting the Sail

2009-01-15T14:00:00.001-08:00

The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sail. -William Arther Ward-

That pretty much sums up my big news of the day....stay posted for further updates!!!! (I just LOVE that quote, BTW).

Ringing in the New Year Busy Busy

2009-01-06T14:33:00.000-08:00

Starting out the year a bit cold around here....Rob doesn't believe me that I can see my breath...inside.

Those trucks and cars from Christmas haven't had a break yet. Isaiah even makes sure to fill them all up with gas at the parking garage.

Wrestling matches with friend Eli have been more frequent lately. Even when the attempt was to play soccer...they still find time to squeeze in a little wrestling match...or as Isaiah so aptly puts it, "TACKLE."

As Eli took the upper hand, Isaiah sqeeling with delight kept saying, 'stuck!' Very funny.

Isaiah seems to think now too, that all kids are as tough as his big dog Tahoe....but the trouble is, Tahoe takes quite a bit more abuse than his friends are willing to take.

The parties haven't ended....

Happy Birthday Sheldon!

Isaiah, is turning into quite the conversationalist with people he doesn't even know. He warmed up to all the big people at the party and was a little heart breaker.

And of coarse a new year, with new things to fix. Rob told Isaiah he was going to fix the sink. Isaiah came running back with his 'hammer' and screw driver....ready to go and help daddy fix the leaking sink.

Happy New Years!

2009-01-06T14:14:00.000-08:00

Happy New Years! I was having a grand ol' time just minutes prior to the stoke of midnight helping to intubate my patient. We finished just in the nick of time...

Got a picture of me with my sparkling grape juice and the crash cart.

A couple of my fellow colleagues and their joyous midnight grins. And the lucky doctor on call.

All the while, Rob is partyin' it up at our friends house. Sandy's letting me borrow her pics to share with you of Rob's New Years. If you're wondering where all the babies are, they were thankfully all tucked in nice and quite in the adjacent rooms. What would we do without a pack'n play?

Merry Christmas From the Skaggs

2008-12-27T13:02:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas my dear friends and family.

What a beautiful Christmas we had. We hope the same for you. It's really such a miraculous day to celebrate. Can you imagine the King of the universe, stepping down from His throne to join humanity in all the everyday struggles of life. No other faith believes that their god actually became man. But Jesus became man not just to have sympathy for his people but to have empathy for his people. He knows first hand the pains and joys that you experience, and He cares so deeply. He longs to be known and loved, but he has given us free will to choose to do so (remember Bruce Almighty...? that made so much sense the way they explained the power of love when you combine it with free will). "We love because he first loved us." 1John 4:19

**When I added the song element to this page I had wanted this song to play, but until now it has been unavailable. Take a listen to it if you have a minute and a few tissues.

Some people make birthday cakes on Christmas in celebration of Jesus' birthday...so I thought maybe we would do that to remind us of the reason for the day. My new Christmas tradition is what I will call my Snow Cake. Kinda looks like a snowball. But unintentionally it turned into something quite symbolic. It's a white cake with a raspberry filling and a butter cream frosting with coconut.
"Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow." Isaiah 1: 18

Pretty cool huh? It was amazing tasting too. If anyone wants the recipe just let me know.

Hot Chocolate and a Christmas Party

2008-12-23T12:50:00.001-08:00

Just when I get a bit frustrated about my life...I read about life around Gretchen's home town. She refrenced this old entry recently. Just think if this is how you had to make hot chocolate???? Kinda makes me want to try it. Anyone have cinnamon tree branches?

Also the PICU (where I work) had it's annual Christmas party. I didn't bring my gigantic antiquated camera...but Gina did (have her nice camera I mean) !Gina, I hope you don't mind me borrowing your blog for the pics?! It was lots of fun to get dressed up, have a babysitter, and go out for the night (although it did feel a bit like we had a curfew...cause the 16 year olds can't be out driving past 11p - so we had to hurry home).

Happy Wrapping, Cookie Making, Christmas Music Listening, Christmas Story Watching -

Christmas Eve Eve.

18 Months already come and gone!

2008-12-18T12:23:00.000-08:00

My little lad - Isaiah - turned 18 months before I even knew it. I can't believe it's already been a couple weeks since that date. I wanted to give a little run down on what he's been up to lately (besides ER trips).

I don't know if I could ever fully express my joy and excitement over the privilege of being his mommy. Isaiah is everyday unfolding into such a fun and interesting little boy, always curious. He LOVES to talk, and LOVES to be challenged, and LOVES to be quizzed about words, people's names, animals, sounds, colors, shapes, types of trucks or types of sports equipment. You may think you're done asking him what this or that is, only for him to say 'more, more.'

He's a talker....(mommy and daddy apparently have this particular problem too...way back to childhood). I am sure that his list of words is getting close to 200 now,... I stopped counting at 100 over 2 months ago. He LOVES books. His favorite book is "Oh, the Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss, and he would have me read it a hundred times (mommy stops at 3...and at this point has the book memorized). When I ask him what book he wants me to read he simply says 'go, go.'

He's not much of an eater. Not that he is particularly picky, but he just doesn't eat that much. Which is fine. He is currently about 35% for weight...but we're not concerned, he is particularly active and he definitely lets me know when he is hungry. He even makes particular food requests, i.e. toast, crackers, cheese, milk, banana, berries (cranberries) etc....depending on his desire at the moment I suppose. He does love his eggs for breakfast (which mommy loves cause it's cheep, easy and great protein), and grilled cheese for lunch...but dinner is pretty hit or miss.

If Isaiah only had 2 toys right now, it would be a truck and a ball. Although the truck would see more playing time. He is a truck man, that is for sure. He spends about 80% of his day organizing, pushing and re-arranging his trucks (and after Christmas, pushing them around the track). It's basically the Skaggs Truck Stop in our living room. But he also loves to wrestle, 'snuggle' (another form of wrestling and tackling), running, jumping, and playing any sort of basketball. And if we're outside.....it's DIRT!!!! or rocks....those are pretty cool too. And he has discovered that he can keep his rock treasures in his pockets.

My favorite time of day with Isaiah, hands down, would have to be nap time/bed time. It's the only time of day that he actually stops moving and will sit and really snuggle with me (the real kind of snuggle, not the wrestling boy version). We read books before nap and bed time while sitting on the small couch in his room. He always looks forward to this, so it makes bed time very easy. Then when we finish books, I continue holding him, I pray with him and then sing him to sleep. He is the best audience, and sometimes if I finish singing, he'll tell me more. I love this part of my day. Yes, it takes longer than just putting him in his crib, and sometimes it takes him quite a bit longer to fall asleep than other days, but I wouldn't give up the last 1 1/2 years of reading, praying, singing and holding for anything. It has been the most amazing time. When he was 3 months old I tried for 1 week to do the 'cry it out' method of putting him to bed. Then I quit....and it's one of the best decisions of my life. Every night I cherish, knowing that he won't always be this size again. And the fear that he wouldn't be able to put himself to sleep has been totally de-bunked for us. Isaiah will some nights just point to his crib when he is ready to lay down, or he will tell us, 'nigh-nigh.' And we lay him down, and never hear a peep.

Well, that's Isaiah at 18 months in a nut shell. No longer my little monkey, or peanut....but now he's my little warrior. I love him so much and am thrilled day to day to see what new things he discovers.

HouseKeeping

2008-12-17T12:44:00.000-08:00

Hi! Is it really possible that Christmas is in ONE WEEK!

1. Check out some new blogs on the block: ANDERSON & GOUGH
2. Just finished Memory Keepers Daughter....not worth the work is my official stance on that one. It was grueling trying to make it to the end. And it closed with an attempt at a relationship with the estranged twins...not very believable and tough to swallow since the male character wasn't even very developed throughout.
3. New book on my list, anyone read it? "Love and Respect" I try to alternate fiction with practical living...(although I tend to sneak in 2 fiction before a practical).
4. No word about a baby yet. I know it's only been 5 days...but I may continue to include this one in all my blogs. Praying for him everynight.
5. Isaiah's eye is looking much better this week. On friday we got his stiches out, which was brutal, but he did great. He has gained the new nickname from mommy....WARRIOR.

WOOOO HOOOO

2008-12-15T12:54:00.001-08:00

As of Friday afternoon, we are an official card carrying, FOSTER FAMILY!!!! We're praying everyday for baby, for baby's family and for a smooth transition when it happens....and we are hoping it happens soon...we are very excited! God already has a little man in mind for our family, and it couldn't be more thrilling to think about. I've been close to tears many times this past weekend in thinking about the amazing journey we are about to embark on. Many posts to come.

Family Pics

2008-12-09T14:45:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago our good friend Sandy took some amazing pics of us up at Serrano Park. We had such a blast trying out different stuff, and she is so incredibly talented that she made it easy for us. She even brought out this really cool jeep for Isaiah to ride in. We are so blessed by her friendship, and generous spirit. Check out her website for our pics and to see some of her other work. She just launched a new photography website with her prices and pics too.
http://www.sandyrunnerblog.com/?p=90 (our family pics)
also,
http://www.sandyrunner.com/
Look for one of those pics on our upcoming christmas cards!!!

Happy Belated National Adoption Week!!!

2008-12-09T13:28:00.000-08:00

So much to say! First Isaiah had a fight with a drawer on Sunday night...the drawer won, and we earned a trip to the ER...and 3 stitches later... I have a feeling he is going to be that kind of boy.

Sunday night:

Monday morning:

Monday night:

Tuesday morning:

When I'm holding other people's children down while they scream bloody murder, so that we can do a procedure is quite a different story than holding your own child down. He was in quite a bit of pain, but we opted to not give him drugs because...(in mom's experience), the trauma from un-peds-experienced ER nurses putting in an IV would be just as bad if not worse than just stitching up the wound with some lidocaine. Mommy was a very cranky nurse 'patient' with the triage nurse who was insisting on getting a tempurature and heart rate before taking him back...3 times it took her to get an accurate temp reading, all the while Isaiah's hematoma was getting bigger and bigger with all his screaming. I was more than a little upset with the nurse...she thought i was kidding when i told her to make something up...NO I was not...put down 34.5 for all I care. And then she said she needed a heart rate...oh, yes, after he's been screaming...that's worthless. Sometimes being a nurse can make occasions like this doubly frustrating.

BUT my little warrior did great, and the next morning it was if nothing at all had happened, and he was in a great mood. Daddy says, it might give him a pretty cool scar...(but mommy's hoping not).

IN OTHER NEWS: Happy Belated National Adoption Week (last week of November)

When I started this blog, I called it 'Little Lads' for a reason, we had just started the foster/adoption process, and we were soon going to be the parents of more than one lad. Well, 9 months down the road, and I am happy to say that we officially turned in our last piece of paper work on monday! Hip Hip Hooray!
Friday we will have our last home inspection and we should be recieving our certification at that time. I knew the process would be long, but I really didn't know it would be this long, and this final piece seems to be taking forever. But I am finally allowing myself to get excited. From here, we are telling people that we could have another child in a couple weeks or in a couple months, we are just not sure yet (although my secret wish is that it's before christmas). This last part has been the most frustrating for me. It required so much paper work and bits of information that we had to collect from all corners of our world. But everyone says once we are holding that child all these little frustrations won't matter. I have been meeting all kinds of people now who are experienced in this process and they have all been very encouraging.

Let me leave you with a bit of information to chew on, I will be writing more on this in the future, but for now, maybe you and your family could be thinking about this over the holidays. During any particular year there are approximately 800,000 children in the foster system here in the US....almost a million children that's situations were deemed bad enough to be removed from the home (and let me tell you, from my experience with the system...it's got to be pretty darn bad, and pretty well documented...no proof...no removal). And amoung those...during any year there are 130,000 children that are waiting for adoption into permanent homes. This is here...today...in our own country. Just in Calif...we have 80,000 children, 10% of the nations children in need of homes.

It gets me close to tears when I think about it, think about the need. To say that this is a passion of mine is an understatement. I have been talking to God about this from the time I was a child and I learned that there were children out there that were not wanted by their parents. I have little bit of a clearer picture about my role in all of this, but I don't think I've yet scratched the surface. My journals for years have been in request to God about what he wants me to do with this passion of mine.

For now, for me, the first step, in order to be an advocate of change, is to be the change I want to see. Like I said, I'll say more in later posts, (I already have hours of speeches for speaking tours outlined in my head...you never know).

Just a few Slideshows to catch you up

2008-12-04T12:32:00.000-08:00

OKAY!!! I'm back...December of all months, to be back on line. From Halloween straight into a wedding, and parties, and then to Thanksgiving, and lots of birthdays, Yosemite, I have a lot of catching up to do. I am dying to share all these pictures with you. I absolutely loath uploading pictures on the computer or online...it's the impatience in me. Anyway, with so many great pictures that I have been wanting to share, I wanted to do some slideshows...but I absolutely refused to upload them to a third place. I use Shutterfly for printing/editing/creating, so I have been working on a way to share my albums in Shutterfly as a slideshow also. I have a link on my sidebar to all of our shared albums, but I am going to make specific links to subjects under the following pics. Okay, without further adue, lets try this.

HALLOWEEN http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=skaggspicturestory&page=skaggspicturestory&album=871

JEANETTE'S SHOWER/BACHELORETTE PARTY (although this was the only surviving bachelorette picture...the others went missing....:)

http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=skaggspicturestory&page=skaggspicturestory&album=887

JEANETTE'S WEDDING

http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=skaggspicturestory&page=skaggspicturestory&album=904

ISAIAH'S FIRST TRIP TO THE ZOO
http://cmd.shutterfly.com/commands/pictures/slideshow?site=skaggspicturestory&page=skaggspicturestory&album=954

More to come...

Soon to come :)

2008-11-15T05:52:00.001-08:00

Between halloween, and my sister flying in from Hawaii with her fiance for the big wedding last week, uploading pictures has taken a back seat. So be on the look-out for picture blogs coming early next week. Be sure to check out BE GREY and BE PROUD below.

Also a BIG Happy Birthday to my mom! She turns the big 60 today. I remember when it was a big deal for all of our parents to turn 40...what's happening...everyone is getting so old so fast (and now my brother-in-law will be turning 40 next week...what??!?!). Anyway, I hope that I look as great as my mom does when I'm 60. Mom, you age so well, may God bless you with many more years (and many more grandchildren :) !

BE GREY - BE PROUD!

2008-11-15T02:27:00.000-08:00

Well, I am proud to announce I have received my second badge of honor in motherhood (the first of coarse, being childbirth), and the second...my first grey hair. And let me tell you, this is no ordinary random hair that grows way in the back in some obscure place...oh no no no! This grey (or white...whose spitting hairs) hair is smack dead center in the tip of my widows peak for all to see and gander. But, let me tell you...as most might, I did not pluck out this beautiful hair of mine at first or even second inspection. Oh no, instead, I marveled at it, and got a bit humbled. I am now moving into the position in life that bequests white hair. Nor did I turn right around and schedule my hair coloring appointment (most of you know that I am an all natural type).

I have heard many times that long grey hair is not attractive, and maybe in the future, I might agree...for now, I don't. I think it is incredibly lovely when women can be proud of the years they have under foot, and still feel young enough to wear their hair long and grey. They are certainly rare and unique women that keep their hair grey and long. But thinking through all the women I've known that do that, they are all women that intrigue me, are interesting individuals and are those that seem to forge their own paths in life. I admire a women that has the strength to buck the expectations of society to hide and not show the 'real' you. Grey hair, and getting older is a badge of honor that has long been overlooked as unacceptable for some reason. The elderly are overlooked and we treat them as if their use in this life is no more (if they could at least drive a little faster or stop insisting on paying for things in pennies).

Sure I'm tempted to color my hair for something new and different, or cut it up short and cute, like all of you adorable short haired women out there. The bible says a women's crown is her hair...what a funny thing to be in the bible, but it's quite true. For humiliation through all history, shaving a women's head was sufficient, was it not. Women who go through chemotherapy first want to know 'am i going to loose my hair?'

As a side note, since I'm on the hair subject, I had a girl recently give me the critical speach about how it was bad for me to wash and dry my hair everyday...hummm probably not any worse than getting it colored and using mulitple products daily like she did....just a thought. Not much difference really.

So instead I say, lets loose the judgement, what ever you think makes you look the prettiest, and makes your hair look the best, then you go right ahead and do it. After all, it's the state of your crown we're talking about.
But just remember ladies (or men for that matter)...be not afraid to BE GREY AND BE PROUD.
P.S. I have to put this in just for Rob (inside joke), but again no judgement....HOLY SKUNK HAIR!

Isaiah's FIRST 'ER' Trip

2008-11-01T05:07:00.000-07:00

When I got the call at work at 2300 from Rob, I didn't think anything of it at first, until from the background I heard Isaiah. Rob - remaining as calm as possible - said that Isaiah sounds like he's having trouble breathing...and I from the other end of the line...in the pediatric intensive care...agreed, and then panicked a bit like a mom and not like a nurse. First thing I told him was get him into the ER...now. Then I had a TON of questions, being very frustrated that I couldn't be there to assess him myself. Our Attending (the big wig Doc) was standing right there, so I handed him the phone...and said what does he sound like to you? He listened to Isaiah over the phone and then asked Rob and few questions...Yep it sounded like croup all right.
Rob packed up Isaiah, and oh so bravely, took Isaiah down to the local ER. Isaiah wasn't so fond of the treatments and all the stuff they wanted to do to him. But in the end... they sent him and daddy home.

I am frustrated because they gave him a totally unnecessary treatment/drug, and that I wasn't there to be with my baby when he was in so much discomfort. It was utterly unbearable hearing my baby crying like that through the phone. I'm used to dealing with babies that can't breath...but to hear your own baby struggling to breath...well that something different entirely. Then my co-workers got a little laugh at my expense comparing the patient I had's problems with my sons. Yah, I guess a little croup is a bit easier to deal with than many others things.

I know it's not Working Woman Wednesday, but rather it's Saturday....however...What is croup you ask? It's a somewhat common childhood illness (only occurring in children due to their smaller trachea) in which a virus attacks the larynx and/or vocal cords causing swelling. This swelling can be life threatening (as heard in the coughing/stridor that Isaiah was doing). One of the ways to help with the symptoms is to take your baby out into the cold moist air at night, it tends to relieve the swelling, if this doesn't help...then medications are necessary.

Well...A BIG HIGH FIVE TO MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND...for handling that mini-emergency so well. Love you honey, sorry I couldn't be there (there was no one to cover my patient for me that was on the heart/lung bypass machine....)

FALL!!!

2008-10-27T20:46:00.000-07:00

I had to share this picture again, along with a few others of my favorites from our big outing to Apple Hill 2 weekends ago. After reading many blogs in my long night time hours, it would seem that I am not the only one who lusts after Fall. Fall is my favorite time of year - BY FAR! I love the way the air smells, I love the feel of a sweatshirt mixed with my favorite flip-flops. I love the changing leaves and foliage. I can't get enough of the colors, and sounds of fall. Even the way the glow the sun gives in the fall afternoons is so uniquely special. I love bringing out our winter food favorites, i.e. soups, stews, pot roasts, chili...and not feeling like I'm melting when I bake all the cookies and cakes until my heart (and my husbands belly) are content. Even the wildlife has a particular curiosity this time of year, scurrying about trying to get ready for something impending.

Yes, Fall is my favorite season, followed closely by Spring. It's the transition seasons, the time in life and in nature when everyone holds their breath for the things to come.

Funny Isaiah note...all day we talked about going to Apple Hill with Isaiah. He can say and easily identify an apple. Well, apparently the apple season wasn't so hot this year, so we saw almost exclusively pumpkins...which he proceeded to call apples... Too much pre-talk about apples and apple hill backfired on me.

Here, Isaiah couldn't lift the pumpkin, so follow the pictures below as he figured out how to tip it over on it's side and give it a rolling start with his foot.

(Our fireman in training) YOU THERE!! BRING THE HOSE OVER HERE!

What do you suppose he ate....or did?????

AH, The Family...I guess Isaiah's had a long day.
But, just a little more running around couldn't hurt...
Is that Mama bein' tackled to the ground by a munchkin?
Mama is the successor!!! Munchkin in tow.
What would a day at Apple Hill be without the token apple on the way home.

Redeeming Love

2008-10-27T15:06:00.000-07:00

The love of God is as tender as a Daddy's to his children, and yet as passionate as that of a lover. Thank you again Francine Rivers for giving me a book that refreshed my soul. I couldn't put it down. Redeeming Love is fantastic, the retelling of the book of Hosea from the Old Testament...bear with me...set in the gold rush era of Calif. A man that falls in love with a prostitute, and the pain and love and immense beauty of the story. For those of you unfamiliar with the biblical story, think Pretty Women and how gorgeous is the love that would step into the dirtiness, ugliness, shameful and guilty life and bring you out whole, beautiful, guilt free and forgiven. Anyway, it's amazing to think that is a story written by God to show how dedicated he is to bringing his people back to him, no matter what their condition.

I think I cried through the whole last chapter.

"She felt his hand on her head. 'My love,' he said. He took hold of her and drew her up again. She couldn't look into his face, wanting to hide her own. Michael took off his shirt and put it around her shoulders. When he tipped her chin up, she had no choice but to look into his eyes again. They were wet like her but filled with light. 'I hoped you would come home someday,' he said and smiled."

Working Women Wednesday

2008-10-22T21:56:00.000-07:00

WWW: Nothing too interesting or exciting
There is nothing that will wake you up better than the shower of nasogastric yumminess at 2 in the morning due to a clogged tube...obviously unbennounced to you. Also, there is always something more to your teenagers story...always...whether it's necessary to drag out the details is completely up to you...

And finally a bit of housekeeping:
*A BIG thank you to Sandy for the amazing picture of Isaiah, the last one I had posted up there was also taken by her...and to think that she took this when he was just playing in her backyard.
*New book on the list.....CAN'T PUT IT DOWN...just like you all said.
*New blogs (Butera, & Strawn's changed)
*Did I mention that our gigantic adoption checklist to the left is done....we are just waiting for our file to be compiled and approved by our social worker...okay, maybe I did say that, and I want to write more about it. But for now just know, that I am getting utterly beside myself with excitement. (I took a quick look at cribs today, after all we might need one in 2 months).
*I wrote more than one today, don't forget the next blog down.

Keep Tahoe Blue...and keep me real.

2008-10-22T20:30:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege of spending last weekend at Lake Tahoe, Zephyr Cove to be exact. I was on my first women's retreat with our Church, and let me tell you, I was most certainly blessed. The picture below shows a few of my cabin mates, yes all (or almost all) could have been my mother. There was great relief in that actually and safety to see and hear from so many beautiful women who have and are still struggling with life, whatever it may be. You see, there can either be comfort in that or discouragement. I had the opportunity to talk a bit with Sherri Elliston, as she was our visiting worship leader (who did a splendid job). Her and I being the youngest of the bunch, we both agreed that there was a part of us that thought,...well, once I get into college, or once I graduate and start working, or once I get married...etc.... then I'll get it together, and I'll be stronger, my trials not so great within me. And as we all are finding, it's not so. That brings me back to what I mentioned, it's either encouraging to know that our elder moms are still struggling, burdened, fighting, or (hopefully not) a discouragement that there is a lifetime of challenge ahead...IT DON'T GET EASIER...IT JUST CHANGES.
For me, I am encouraged. I am encouraged to know that I don't have to figure it all out today, and 'get my act together or else.' I was blessed by the reminding of the following simple statements of our beliefs. Try saying these out loud, it is one thing to know/believe these statements in your head, it's quite another to believe them in your heart.
Go on try it out loud...yes, it seems quite silly saying it to a computer...but you won't be able to deny the power in it once it is said.
**God is my perfect father (col 1:15-17; 2cor6:18; is9:6; john 10:22-30; heb 1:1-3)
**G0d really does love me (eph 1:3-14; eph 2:4-7; 1john 3:1)
**God knows everything about me and accepts me as I am. (ps 139:13-16; ro 5:8; ro 4:4-8; col 2:13-14)
**My actions do not affect God's love and acceptance of me. (col 1:21-23; ro 8:1-3; ro 3 :21-24)

Even though we say these are our beliefs as Christians, we don't always practice or preach this - do we?....it's always in relation to how well we or our neighbor can get their act together first. Shame on us. He wants so desperately for us to simply respond to his love for us...not fall into a religious show of excellence. (Please see the end of my blog from Oct. 9th, it seemed to follow this). Especially considering what I shared from the beginning of this blog, from the honesty of the women this weekend....it doesn't matter how old you are, struggles and challenges will be before you. So why can't we stop lying to one another, attempting to put on some sort of performance of religious excellance...nonsense...just stop it...NO ONE HAS IT ALL TOGETHER.
As a side note here, but it came to mind - even when we ask for each others advise about things as I witnessed this week at a moms group thing, we do it with one hand out ready to push back. For instance, 'how do you yadda, yadda, yadda...or get through yadda yadda.' only to respond to others answers with, 'well, yes i do that already, and oh and i already know that, and well, we do this.' It's as if we are trying to admit that we don't have it all together, but are never ready to listen and absorb an answer...maybe that's just too vulnerable. There could be such strength in vulnerability, as Jesus says, 'Gods power is made perfect in our weakness.' Paul, the apostle, said because of this he will boast about his weaknesses (last I checked....I was not boasting about any such thing), and this leaves us with the greatest oxymoron, 'For when I am weak, then I am strong.' Chew on that a minute, or maybe a lifetime.
Talk about things to chew on, I had the privilege of hearing Kelli Willson speak at the retreat this weekend, and as evidenced by just a few of my written thoughts above, she certainly gave the women LOTS to chew on.

You can't really tell from this picture, but Lake Tahoe is right below that big picture window!!!

Kelli about to start speaking. The cabin that 5 of us stayed in was incredible, again you can't tell from the pic, but below that window is the lake.

My morning view.

Okay, and if you can forgive the blurrines, this was sooooo cute. Isaiah has a new found love of oatmeal, and he has insisted on getting the last drop out of his bowel anyway he could.

Working Women Wednesday

2008-10-15T19:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't put up an interesting work tid-bit in a while. So maybe I'll try this 'working women Wednesday' gig, since i work on Tues. nights, it might jog my memory. And man, this morning after having been awake for over 27 hours in running, I had lots of ideas of things I wanted to blog about. I think the creative mind must go into overdrive after being awake for that long. Don't professional writers do their best work at like 3 in the morning or something??? Well I have now had 4 hours of sleep, so I can't promise even mediocre work here. Wewhhh, did I go on a tangent there.
ANYWAYS......here's one that might make you squirm. Sometimes when patients get really imunocompromissed (in other words their immune system is shot to pieces for one reason or another), they become incredibly susceptible to even their own bodies natural bugs. But one thing that can occasionally happen, and it's pretty life threatening (as if the person didn't already have something life threatening going on) is that a person can develop what is called.....are you ready.....fungal balls all throughout their body. Yes, you read that right, it's called fungal balls. As nurses, after we hear that our patient has this, we say, 'ahhh, no,' we then squirm and say a big long 'ewwwwwww' on the inside (can i get an amen you nursing bloggers).
As a side note, after having worked in my department for 3 years, I have had many children be very close to dying on my shift, or have helped a co-worker with their patient as they expired, or have gotten a patient ready for organ donation, but never have I had a patient actually pass away while on my watch and on my shift. This happened for the first time over a week ago. I can't give details of coarse, and I have intentionally not written this close to the date of it happening, but it was pretty horrible (as if that even comes close to describing it). The patient died a terrible death (away from the hospital), and the entire time he was under my care, it was all in vein to try and bring the patient back from death essentially. Picture a crazy ER scene with tons of people all working on one person, and that pretty much sums it up...along with tons of family freaking out (semi-appropriately) in the hallway. Finally, the doctors decided that our efforts were futile (after 6 hours), and told the family so, and we all stepped out of the way, and let the family come in to spend those last minutes with their child. But then the family leaves, leaving their child behind with us, and it's my turn again. The room is trashed from the hecticness of the previous hours, and the patient is still there, tubes and lines and everything still intact (because the patient will be a coroners case, so all lines and invasive things have to stay put). I now have to clean the room....and the patient, giving them their last bath. Nurses are pretty good about making sure that you don' t have to do this job alone, so I had help, but it's still not enough sometimes. Giving a child their last bath is so sad, and quiet and sur-real. And when that's over, and the rooms clean, you get a body bag off the cart in the back, tag their toe with all their info, and place them inside the bag. It's the zipping that thing up over their face that is so nauseating. I heard someone say recently that police, doctors, nurses etc, give a piece of themselves up when they choose to do this kind of work and see these kind of things. I am beginning to think that's true. This part of my life gets tucked away from the hum-drum of 'normal' life that most experience everyday, and that i participate in when I'm home. But it's there, in my subconscious still bothering me, waking me up with jolts at night as if I've been the one shocked by the defibrillator... wondering if there was something more i could have done, but really knowing that there wasn't. And the whole time that the patient is trying to die, your thinking to yourself....don't die...don't die.......and then.....but i know it would be better for you if you did. It makes me think of this quote i heard on a show that i saw once about the residents at John Hopkins Hospital...this resident doctor said, that when working with kids, what you know that the parents don't is that sometimes the worst thing isn't death. And maybe only nurses and doctors can understand that or someone who has seen it, but I think she was right. Regardless, we are going to do whatever the family wants, and give of ourselves to see that it happens.
Holy Moly, that was heavy, okay how about something a bit lighter and embarrasing to end. This morning when I was taking a shower i almost laughed out loud when i leaned over and suddenly took notice and thought just how funny looking my upper body parts are now....(for modesty sake the upper body parts shall remain nameless). Where the heck did those come from and where is that body-snatcher that took the good ones.

Can you guess????

2008-10-14T11:58:00.000-07:00

What will Isaiah be for Halloween??? Here's a sneak preview....children's book style

Will he be a truck driver????

Will he be a tractor driving farmer???? NO

Will he be a dirt magnet????NO

Will he be a book worm???? NO

Will he be a dare devil (shirtless) military man????
NO

Will he be a boots only cowboy???? (Getting warmer)

He's going to be the darnd, rootin' tootin' cutest cowboy you ever did see....

With his best bud Tahoe too...

Bye Bye YA'LL

Isaiah's Dedication

2008-10-13T20:29:00.003-07:00

A week ago Sunday (and, yes, I'm now getting around to putting it up....oops), we had Isaiah dedicated at our church. It was a beautiful day, and we were surrounded by friends and family. Our pastor, whom we've know for many years was able to do the dedication making it very special. Here are a few pics, (thankyou Sandy and Megan)...

Funniest part, as Mark was saying a prayer he mentioned home...and Isaiah started to repeat 'home, home, home' luckily he wasn't too close to the mic.

The Great Romancer

2008-10-09T22:47:00.000-07:00

I am being romanced by the Great Romancer. I have just finished reading Captivating (see book list), and I am even more convinced that my heart is being pursued, fought for, and enjoyed by our God. My God thinks that I am beautiful and worth it, worth the fight, and women....He is dying to whisper the same comforting words to you. There's a reason our hearts as women are never satisfied and long for a deeper sort of love. This next 2 parts are from the last chapter that I wanted to share with you all, and even if you are not a believer, maybe you could still take a moment to dream about a romance that is available to speak into the depths of your heart.

~Jesus is extending his hand to you. He is inviting you to dance with him. He asks, "May I have this dance.... every day of your life?" His gaze is fixed on you. He is captivated by your beauty. He is smiling. He cares of nothing of the opinion of others. He is standing. He will lead. He waits for your response. My lover spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me." (Songs 2:10) You are a women. An image bearer of God. The crown of Creation. You were chosen before time and space, and you are wholly and dearly loved. You are sought after, pursued, romanced and the passionate desire of your Fiance Jesus. You are dangerous in your beauty and your life-giving power. And you are needed. As a women who has been ransomed and redeemed, you can be strong and tender. You speak to the world of God's mercy, mystery, beauty, and his desire for intimate relationship. You are inviting; you can risk being vulnerable, offering the weight of your life as well as your need for more because you are safe in God's love. You labor with God to bring forth life - in creativity, in work, in others. Your aching, awakened heart leads you to the feet of Jesus, where you wait on him and wait for him. The eyes of his heart are ever upon you. The KING IS CAPTIVATED BY YOUR BEAUTY.
~ Captivating
There is a story about a time when Jesus visited the house of Martha and her sister Mary. Of coarse this was a great honor for these women to have this man come to their home. Martha was so concerned and busy getting everything just right, cooking, etc. (like most of us would be). Everything must 'look' just right, taste just right, be just right....but Mary was unconcerned, instead it says that she just sat at Jesus' feet and was listening to him. What a beautiful picture, to just listen to him, allowing him to enjoy me and my vulnerability, and it's so freeing. "The one thing that is needed is a captivated, adoring heart, a heart that responds to the extravagant love of God with worship."
This is what Jesus says. "Martha, Martha,' Jesus answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her" Luke 10: 38-42

We need to stop this thinking that we are required to do and perform to be a Christian. To sit at Jesus' feet...that is all that is required, and he will not take that away, the rest will flow from there.
God is not a duty.....Christianity is not a duty....Religion is not a duty....
It is an opportunity, an invitation offered to anyone to sit at the feet of the creator of the universe, and just....listen.

Potty Talk

2008-10-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

Okay this is too funny and embarrassing NOT to post....so here it goes. This morning while Isaiah and i were playing on the floor, he heard his mommy pass a little gas. Isaiah, very astutely pointed at that region of my body and declared, 'poop.' I must have bust a gut at that point laughing.
Since I started with the potty talk we have officially pulled out the 'little' potty. It sits right next to the 'big' potty in the bathroom. Isaiah has started identifying with some regularity when he goes...but it's after he goes. Oh well, we can get started. So we practice sitting on it, etc. I have also started having him help me to put his poop in the toilet. That way he sees it, and sees where it's supposed to go. He finds this very fascinating, I figure it's a start.

16 Months!

2008-10-02T13:08:00.001-07:00

On Monday Isaiah turned 16 months. I knew that Isaiah had a lot of words for his age, but I finally started writing them all down today. So far I have 98 words and I know that I'm missing a few....here's his list so far. These are the things that he can correctly identify with words.
Mom
Daddy
Papa
Pop
Mimi
Grahm
Ta (tahoe)
milk
cheese
cracker
cookie
juice
water
fish
ba
each
strawberry
ice
cup
lid
cap
t.v.
c.d.
ham
bus
car
truck
boat
blue
thank you
sorry
please
dirt
rock
grass
potty
couch
up
down
off
slide
shirt
shoe
sock
boots
blankie
poop
book
hot
cold
ball
shoot
catch
pass
kick
stop
stomp
go
hop
outside
duck
eye
stuck
nose
belly
brush
light
saw
keys
hi
bye
dog
baby
seat
you (i love you)
come
sit
back (back up)
pillow
get (get me)
hoop
tires
people
pen
fly (the insect)
tree
soft
hard
bat
moon
star
uh-oh
home
sleep
turtle
food
all done
release
watermelon
pine cone

Too Cute To Pass Up

2008-10-02T12:05:00.000-07:00

Our homestudy is half over!!! After 3 1/2 hours of interviewing and checking out the house and we are almost done. Our social worker predicts that we will be ready for submitting our paper work and begin the searching process by the end of Nov. Whew that will be here before we know it.....we are getting so excited.

Isaiah likes balls of any kind...but this day he sorted out his basketballs and lined them up

Then he sat down in the middle of them...just like he does with his trucks
Isaiah sleeps with that brown blanket, it must have fallen out, but he fell asleep holding it anyway.
These boots were made for walking

Puss Please

2008-09-29T08:58:00.001-07:00

Life is a bit crazy right now....will it ever slow down? Anyway, since there have been no blogs in some time, I leave you with this.

**Isaiah has taken to repeating everything we say...or at least trying to.

Me: Want to try some CocoPuffs?

Isaiah: (Clapping his hands wildly) CO PUSS CO PUSS.......PUSS PEESE

He must be a nurses' son....

Also, this week we have a 3 hour appointment with our social worker to start what they call the 'home study' portion of our foster-adopt process. We will meet with her together and then next week Rob and I have individual appointments with her. It should be interesting. I'll keep you all posted on how it goes.

Wedding, Water, and Way Cool Boys

2008-09-22T11:51:00.000-07:00

This is my friend Cindy Nixon...well now she is Cindy DeBeer. Heir to some of that DeBeer fortune??? I'm too embarrassed to ask...but it's possible, he is South African. Cindy and I traveled to Romania together many years ago where we worked in an orphanage. Her heart never left that kind of work, and a few years later she moved to South Africa where she has been living ever since. She works there with AIDS orphans...there are zillions of them. She runs a type of school, assistance programs, small clinic and a bunch of other things out of one building in a community of people ravaged by AIDS. She has since met an amazing man, named Neil and they came back to get married last weekend. Congratulations Cindy and Neil and may God bless you and your lives work together.

Cindy holds a special place in my heart. We were taking a ballroom class together at Sac State, and then we would have lunch together afterwards. That first month of September I met Rob who also started having lunch with us. By the end of that month Cindy said, 'Your going to marry that man.' I told her that was ridiculous, but if I did, she could sit in the front row. The ushers didn't realize that she had a reserved seat in the front, but she was there anyway.

BEAUTIFUL

A FEET WASHING CEREMONY, SO MOVING!

WHAT A HANDSOME COUPLE THEY ARE

MY HANDSOME BOYS IN MATCHING GREEN SHIRTS

AMERICA WANTS YOU....TO PLAY AS HARD AS I DO
WHO NEEDS EXPENSIVE 'WATER TABLES' WHEN YOU'VE GOT BUCKETS FROM THE HOSPITAL
MISTER COOL

Outside my comfort zone

2008-09-22T10:06:00.000-07:00

I did 2 things this weekend that scared me...but I believe I was successful anyway.

1. I am now a weed wacker maniac! I have always been quite frightened by the weed wacker...it seems so out of control and dangerous the way Rob whips it around the yard. I mean that thing could slice your belly right open and there you would be with your innards all over the front yard....ewww, not good for front yard appeal. Well....I did it!!! Rob showed me how to work it, and I pushed aside my anxiety and went to work....IT WAS EXHILARATING!!! Now I know why guys love the leaf blower, weed wacker, chain saw....the gas powered mower is so...well, powerful. Rob thinks that now because he's 'trained' me he never has to do the edging again...wrong.

2. Next...while I have now been working in the PICU for 3 years...I still don't feel very competent at my job....but they must think I'm capable cause they gave me an ECLS patient last Friday. These patients still scare me...but I did it anyway. This picture isn't exactly clear, but this is about what my patients room looked like. The machines in the picture include a ventilator and an ECLS machine, there isn't much room to move around. There are about 15 different pumps used to give things like blood, albumin, plasma, maintenance fluid, and the remaining are drugs...lots of them. One baby like this requires 2 nurses...and we didn't stop working all night, it's pretty insane. I'd like to also mention that the chest of this little baby wasn't closed after his heart surgery due to swelling...so there is a thin little piece of opaque plastic film that covers the heart...you can see it pumping, if you wanted to you could practically touch the heart
What is ECLS...Extracorporeal Life Support...a machine that essentially does the work of the heart and/or the lungs until the patient's are healthy enough to take back over the work. It's a pretty wild technology, and not all of children's hospitals do it.

Okay...your turn...I challenge you to do something new...and/or something that scares you this week. Leave it in the comments for fun.

A bit o' fun

2008-09-12T11:15:00.001-07:00

Here are a few odds and ends that I have wanted to post, but kept forgetting.

One day, a small group of us met at a place called Funtastic...it was successful...they had fun. Isaiah (hiding in the back) and Eli are surrounded by the women. We're in trouble...Isaiah just loves to kiss the girls...it's so cute. I'm okay with him kissing Katlyn...she's a keeper.
Jamie and Eli, got caught having fun in a doughnut.
Okay, now...it's has been a bit hard to take lately, that I don't get carded when I buy drinks anymore...but having a ten year reunion really makes you feel your age....seriously I don't look that old do I? Well instead of the $95 per person tickets to the reunion, two of my great friends from high school, along with their awesome husbands and us went out to dinner and had a great time! Erica and Laurisa you both look amazing. And Erica...glad we didn't loose you and Brian to the Brits...glad you're home.

And finally...a day at the park with an old friend. Melissa and I were friends in college on the nursing track together. She has since married and moved to Idaho where she has 5 beautiful girls...they were in town for a visit, and we were able to get together for the morning at the park. Coincidentally her mom also lived 2 doors down from us at our last house.
The girls insisted on taking my picture...
Isaiah, being a gentleman.
And an amazing group shot...how we got 8 children to sit still for a picture like this is amazing. Heidi's 2 kiddos are here too. (Notice that even with 5 children under 6, Melissa still has time to take a phone call....amazing!).

Fun Facts from the Body

2008-09-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

Some fun little thing I learned this week in my Pediatric Oncology class. First a little lesson. Did you know that the inside of your bones is where the majority of your blood is made? I remember being amazed when I learned this, and I still wonder how many people actually know that. So...when you get a bone marrow transplant (God forbid you ever need one), the idea is that they wipe out all of your own defective marrow and replace it with this new persons.
2 amazing things I learned this week...
**When they give you the new 'marrow,' they simply give it through an IV straight into your veins...it finds it's way to the center of your bones all by itself....isn't that weird, cool, and amazing all at the same time. The cells 'know' where to go.
**Also, one of the ways they know whether or not the new 'system' is working is that they test the blood. Hopefully your 'new' blood will have the transplantee's DNA. In other words, your body will continue making blood with the other persons DNA. So if you are a female and you recieve your donation from a male, your blood cells will always have a Y chromosome in them....how interesting huh?
Fun Facts from the Body....any questions? I would love to try and answer some...leave me a comment.

GOING GREEN

2008-09-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

Even though dirt seems to be a boys best friend....!!...It is not a mommy's best friend...uh humm. So I am pleased to announce.

WE HAVE GRASS!! OHHH YA!

And let me say, I have a very amazing, and very proud husband for completing such a monumentous task. The following was completed in about 2 hours...quite amazing.

Every time I took a new picture of the progress, I had to climb a tree and climb back down....I had my own bit of fun in this whole thing. I have forgotten how much I enjoy climbing trees.

And then the best part...watching Isaiah investigate this new thing in the front yard.

Final pictures of our front yard still to come.

HAPPY MOWING!

State Fair Days Are Here Again

2008-09-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

For the last 8 years now, Rob and I haven't missed a state fair. That is mostly due to me....I am in love with the state fair. I love a couple things about it. I love seeing the animals (I have a secret dream of having a farm someday....hence the chickens and all the other animals), I love seeing all the creative things people make in the exhibition areas, and sell in the booths. And finally I love seeing all the interesting people, I love being reminded what is really considered 'normal,' and I'm moved with love and compassion for human-kind. Enjoy the pics...and hurry out, today is the last day of the fair. (My co-workers were laughing at me the morning I was getting off work, we were going to be going that afternoon, and I couldn't contain my excitement)

No babies being born this time ....you can actually see baby animals being born, if you get there at just the right time...it's incredible. But this little cow wasn't very old.
Grahm and Papa came too!

A little quarter is always good for a tickle on the feet.
AWE!!! My annual corn dog...this too is something that I greatly look forward to. It makes me want to go back today just to get my hands on another one....I think my heart will only let me have one a year however.
For 8 years Rob and I have enjoyed buying our kettle corn from this couple. Most years it's late at night by the time we get over there, and we usually enjoy a pleasant conversation with them. They come from Texas and they travel around in the summer together working at different fairs. They are soooo cute, and so sweet, that I had to take a picture of them this year.

Isaiah is enthralled with the Chinese dancers...I think they spent a little too much time in the heat that day...there were a few falls...oooops.
You would think that my mom had never seen some of the scary rides before, she was freaked out that people would get on those things, especially the free-fall stuff. Check out this great shot of her....pretty funny.

Month of the truck

2008-09-01T12:53:00.001-07:00

August has been the month of the truck. Although Isaiah has loved trucks for some time, his obsession started when his Mimi bought him a large dump truck to push around. He has since been given a few other trucks. I would say that he spends AT LEAST 85% of his day pushing them around the house and trying different things with them as you will see below. The true boy in him is shining through without any help from me. What a fun month.

This particular day, he was insisting that I take his picture, and he posed a couple different ways and loved showing off how well he parked all his trucks.

Then he went and got daddy so that he could have his picture taken after he piled all the trucks on daddy's lap. Rob and I were laughing hysterically.

On this day, Isaiah thought it would be cool to stack them all up on each other. We were SOOOO impressed that he got them all to stay like that without a lick of help from either of us (we were finishing dinner)

This is his dump truck from Mimi that makes a great sound while he pushes it around the house just like this.

And one more, of Isaiah lining up all the trucks. He decided to sit down with them here. I'm not sure why but he loves to line them all up against a wall, and thinks it's the coolest thing.

It's all about Laminin

2008-08-31T14:14:00.000-07:00

Like I said in the previous blog, I have been seeing God work in and around me within the last 2 weeks in some pretty unbelievable ways. There is no one that can tell me that 'miracles' don't happen anymore, or that God isn't actually involved in our lives. He is so present in your every move, in the things around you and only when you open your eyes to the things of God will you begin to recognize the power in his love.

In asking God to speak to me today, and bring me peace, He did so. Many of you know about my love for science and the study of the human body, this really spoke to me. Today I heard about a protein molecule called Laminin...it's in the body and apparently it's pretty important. I'd never heard about it before. A few hours later as I was writing this I was searching for a music link to add to a different blog, when instead I fell across the following clip, unaware what it was about. ...Again I'd never heard of or seen this molecule until today...now I've seen it twice, and it made me cry....I/We are being held together by the Creator of the Universe in more ways than one....you have to see this video. I came across it for a reason, it's meant for someone out there to see besides me today. Don't be afraid if, when you ask God to speak,...He does...because He will. I had forgotten that, but I have been brought around to it again.

http://

7 down...2 to go

2008-08-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

7 of 9 adoption classes now completed!!! Only 2 left, and let me tell you, we are getting soooo excited. Once the classes are completed then we will be able to start our homestudy process. With that complete and a quite a few more papers to fill out, we will be able to be put on the list. We have been 'assigned' a social worker...I have to admit it feels a bit odd to say, 'we have a social worker...' It usually seems like only a select few of society 'gets' a social worker. She is pretty cool, she has been co-teaching the classes, so it's been nice to get to know her slowly before she comes bounding into our lives wanting to know all the griddy details. Once we go through the homestudy I will be able to tell you a bit more about what it looks like. But for now my impressions of it essentially means interviews with each Rob and I and a look around the house to make sure it's 'safe.' They can interview the children in the house too, in which case, Isaiah would probably try to give her a nice 'high-five' and maybe share his milk along with showing her just how much he LOVES having his diaper changed.

In the last class they did an exercise with us to give us an idea of what to expect in the 'choosing' phase. They had a stack of pictures of real kids that have since found homes. On the back was their bios....their history and what they've been through. We were asked to determine if this was a child we would consider taking...just to get us thinking about what we would see. Each time she held up a photo...without hesitation, and without hearing the bio....I called out "I'll TAKE HIM (HER)...THEM (siblings)." Everyone was kinda giving me the 'she's crazy' look, and the teacher said I was funny (thinking I was joking I suppose). What they don't realize (my husband does, however), is that I really wasn't kidding. I really don't care...if there is a child that needs a home....ours will be it.

Last Friday my patient's mom told me she was ready to turn off life support and talk about organ donation. I spent the remainder of the night getting my patient ready to donate his organs (it's a 12-24 hour process, before you can officially let them die and donate). The little boy was 6 months old, and beautiful...and had been shaken to death. He had been the second child to donate his organs last week due to child abuse.
NEED I SAY MORE....I will take any of them.

I am just VERY excited to be able to step in and save one of these precious ones from a life of trauma

...now if only through this blog I can begin to encourage others to do the same.

And as a side note....I really think that God can be pretty humorous in the ways that he uses to get our attention. There are times that I have felt God stirring me to do something...the other day was an example. I really felt like I needed to give a friend of mine a phone call. On that particular day, I completely forgot and got caught up in my day. My friend has a very beautiful and unique name that I have ever only known to belong to her. On my way home that night, I caught a glimpse of the licence plate in front of me....and what do you think was on it...her name! And it wasn't her car, but we followed it almost all the way to our front door. I got the hint God...the only thing more obvious would have been a neon sign giving me specific instructions....He'll do anything to get our attention, that's for sure. Amazing things have been happening in my life recently in which God has specifically gotten my attention. Keep your eyes peeled for updates.
My friend seemed to agree with me...there are no coincidences in life. Life is a beautifully woven story.

Tag- Your It...Okay I'll Play

2008-08-21T21:33:00.000-07:00

My turn I guess, well here goes nothin'....I've never done one of these...Jamie, I'll get you for this.

Four jobs I’ve had:
1) Telemarketer (selling diet pills and other random things...i.e. Texas tourist stuff)
2) Day Care
3) Hostess for the Cliff House
4) Coffee Shop Barista, Nine West Shoe Store, Nanny, HomeCare Giver, Thomas Kinkade Gallery, Waitress, Old Navy, Assisted Living Nursing Assistant, ER, Newborn Nursery....I know that I have a few more...sorry I couldn't limit it to just four....I have worked a riduculous number of places.

Four movies I’ve watched more than once:
1) Pride and Prejudice
2) Bourne Identity
3) Wild Hearts can't be Broken
4) Oceans Eleven

Four TV shows I watch:
1) The Office
2) So You Think You Can Dance
3) Hero's
4) Nothing right now, cause none of those shows are on.....(oh ya, One Tree Hill from Net Flix, I guess that counts.)

Four places I’ve been:
1) Interlaken, Switzerland
2) Cluj, Romania
3) Cinqa Terra, Italy
4) Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

Four people who email me regularly:
1) My sister (wedding stuff!)
2) Bible Study Girls
3) Rob (sometimes it's the only way we can remember to tell each other stuff)
4) Amazon....no more books please...I can't read all the ones I have

Four of my favorite foods:
1) Fruit
2) Coffee
3) Coffee
4) Fruit
......needless to say, I stay regular

Four places I would love to visit:
1) Scotland
2) India
3) South Africa
4) Romania (again)

Four things I’m looking forward to in the coming year:
1) Adopting our new baby
2) Finishing our front yard, and having dirt to grow things in!!!
3) Possibly Parking in my garage
4) Snow boarding (it's been almost 2 years)

Four friends I’m tagging: Abbey, Gina, Alyssa, Bethany
(and if you don't want to play, just yell out (really loud) "Not it!" and ignore this post!)

Hot Tamale Train!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!

2008-08-20T21:01:00.000-07:00

Tickets came in the mail yesterday!!!!! HERE WE COME!!!!! My dancing shoes are waiting by the door, I'm hoping to sneak in and give them all a preview of my talent, and maybe be wisked away to join them on tour. What? It could happen. Nigel here I come.

I Admit, I'm a Junky

2008-08-20T17:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, Okay....I love talk radio. I know what you're thinking. But there is this one show in particular that Rob and I enjoy in the morning, on talk 650. It's the Armstrong and Getty show. They talk about all kinds of things. I love it, they always get me thinking.

Any closet Armstrong and Getty fans out there?

Well, anyway, if you are a fan, you may know about a frequent caller they have whose name is Basel, from Iraq and is quite funny and interesting. The other day, Rob and I were driving on the free-way and I happened to notice this license plate that read 'Basel' on it, and thought, it was funny (ask me about my Basel story from our travels in Switzerland sometime) and just like that caller's name, then Rob noticed his Armstrong and Getty bumper sticker. As we passed him, sure enough a middle aged Iraqi man was driving and looked exactly like I thought he would. So I did the first thing that came to mind, I leaned way over with a big smile and waved at him...and as if he knew exactly why we were waving, he smiled and enthusiastically waved right back. Rob and I got a good giggle out of it for about 10 minutes.

I'm adding them to my list of web-sites to stop at because they are available on pod-cast which is a fantastic way to cut commercials. Also I have some new books listed (***Leota's Garden***is fantastic) if you hadn't noticed before, and also I changed the link to my friend Gretchen Jones to a site she more frequently updates. She has lived in Peru the last 5 years? and always has incredible stories from her work there. Also added the Cunningham blog this week. Check it out.

Safeway can kiss my paycheck good-bye...and other money saving tips

2008-08-19T11:50:00.001-07:00

1. I am finished with Safe-way. On 2 different occasions this week I had to run there to grab something....(I haven't been good about going to the store and thinking ahead lately). A box of pasta, a particular brand that we like....$3 at Safe-way and $1 dollar at Win-co
******Mayonnaise.....$5 at Safe-way.......$3.27 at Win-co******
and many, many, many, many other examples. I might as well be throwing my money into the street (as my mother used to say....oh goodness, when did that happen).

SOOOOO....SO LONG SAFE-WAY and HELLLLLLO WIN-CO

2. Even though we had insurance, supposedly the best kind....it is ridiculously expensive. For Isaiah's 15 month check up and shots, it was going to cost almost $700 of which I had to pay over $150 out of pocket. (And by the way, it took 5 different phone numbers/phone calls and a 4 day wait in order for them to tell me how much it cost).
LIKE HECK......I made an appointment at the county public health department, and for $40 dollars we waited 15 minutes and were seen by a very nice nurse and out we went 15 minutes later, immunization card all stamped up.

So for those of you on a limited budget, take it from me, Win-co and Trader Joes are where it's at, and the health department for your little ones. Do you have money saving tips? Leave me your budget tips in the comments section....we could use them.

Ugliness and Silly Fun

2008-08-18T11:15:00.000-07:00

For quite some time now i have purposely left my blogs light and fun. I have avoided blogging all the crazy thoughts that run through my head constantly...mostly for fear that i will freak everyone out, or depress them and they will never read my blog again. The thing is I've decided that my life is a little or maybe a lot like the t.v. show M*A*S*H. Well not specifically, but in theory.

Let me explain, (and I love this show, by the way). I began looking over my previous blogs and was thinking how heavy they were...and I thought, 'well that's not a good representation of me.' I'd like to think of myself as very light-hearted, funny, goofy and always ready for a good time or to join in the party. So it might be a little psychotic, but it's a bit like MASH. The story line is set in a very serious, depressing and full of difficult situations, and yet they find ways to be funny and have a great time in spite of it all.

The new residents are out in full force at work right now...it's that time of year, and the med-students are eagerly trailing at their coat tails (literally). It almost made me giggle the other night at work watching 2 med students faces as they talked so excitedly about a patient and what they had planned for the day etc. It got me thinking. It is fascinating to me to watch the change that takes place in peoples faces over the years. It's the same change of face that happens to nursing students, med students, social workers, police in training, or as in M*A*S*H the difference between a private and a lieutenant. It is so obvious the difference in the face of a 'trainee' and that of one that has been in the 'force' for a few years, just by looking at someone you can tell at what stage they are. The difference, well...the reality of life, and the ugliness and difficulties that it brings.

Again, let me explain. Life is just beginning for these poor ignorant people. They are filled with wonder and excitement as they begin their careers and begin learning all that it takes to do their jobs. But slowly a change takes place in them. I clearly remember just getting out of college, a good friend of ours through-out college went to the police academy to become a sheriff. This was the goofiest, guy, always ready for a good time, or ready to start one, a dare-devil. He completed the academy and was a little different, but still the same guy, only with hints of changes (i.e. the hair cut), and a sutle serious under-tone. Then the years of working in the jail and on the streets. A change had taken place in his face.

The same is true I believe for a new mom, or a veteran mom...a newly-wed or a 10/20 year married veteran. We all start out with such altruism....that things are supposed to be a certain way, and when we suddenly realize that things aren't so, and that change is tuff, and life is ugly...that, I believe is called growing up.

So I fell into that category. I wanted to change the world, be the sort of nurse/mom that makes a difference. But the reality of life has set in, and I have to force myself back to that silly girl that I believe that I am inside, and make a concentrated effort to be goofy and light-hearted, because it's all too easy to get uptight, serious, and tense. We are all that same little girl (or boy)inside, the same one we were before tragedies hit us, or real life was realized. We must find the balance and believe that silliness and joy and fun can exist simultaneously as the ugliness of life....just like M*A*S*H. ...or better yet, what happens in us when we focusing on the joy of the perfect love that the Father extends to his children.

(this is the ugliness I get to see at work)
I was unfortunate to hear a sound again last Friday night that I dread the most. It is the most awful sound in all the world, and no one can argue it with me. It is the sound that comes out of a mommy the very moment her child has died. It fills the air, and for minute the world stops, I think even all of Heaven holds their breath, it is silent, except for the wail of a woman, alone with her baby in her arms. There is NOTHING more horrible, more sickening, than listening to a mom wail and cry things like....'my baby, my baby, my baby......wake up, wake up...sit up come on wake up....lets go home, lets just go home....can't we just go home.' The anguish, the sound as she cries comes from a place that is only tapped in that moment. No one can know her pain, but all the nurses and doctors hold back tears as they try and not think of themselves in her shoes. And it doesn't matter how old that 'baby' is, because a mom's children will always be her babies. This young mom is now a veteran in life, fighting just to make it through.

I really hate that sound. It haunts me sometimes at home. My job has definitely become harder and harder lately. To make matters worse, Friday night I could have jovially been scap-booking with the girls (or pretending to...or just talking, I don't scap-book) instead of listening to the harshness of reality.

So although a bit schizophrenic, I want my blog to more accurately describe me, with equal parts ugly reality and silly fun...a bit like M*A*S*H.

'Set your mind on the things above, not on earthly things.' Col 3:2
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." ~Jesus~ John 14: 1
This next one is SWEET
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? SHALL TROUBLE OR HARDSHIP or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. " Romans 8:35-39

BEWARE!!!

2008-08-08T12:12:00.000-07:00

I told you that I had some catching up to do for July. Well....I did it. Please check out all 3 posts below, with lots and lots of fun pictures. Leave a comment if you'd like.

A Baby Shower and a Birthday Party

2008-08-08T11:39:00.000-07:00

My friend Eunice and I had planned a baby shower for our friend Alyssa...but silly us, didn't know that baby Alaina was going to join us a whole month early. Alyssa, looking awesome, only 5 days after Alaina was born, was still up for the party. It was a beautiful day of hanging out with the work girls. We threw the party at my parents due to the previous blog (Check out our Beloved Dirt Blog). It was lots of fun....check it out.

PROUD PARENTS

NOW THAT'S A MAN!!! HANGING OUT WITH BABY GIRL AT HIS WIFE'S BABY SHOWER...GOOD STUFF MITCH.
A COUPLE OF BEAUTIES, CHECK OUT STEPH'S CUTE BELLY

OKAY, SO WE COULDN'T MEASURE ALYSSA'S BELLY SIZE SINCE SHE DIDN'T HAVE ONE ANYMORE....SO WE GUESSED BUST SIZE

MARIANKA, GETTING SOME GOOD SNUGGLE TIME

EUNICE...JUST BEING GEORGOUS

NOW THERE'S A BUNCH OF HOT/SMART WOMEN...NOT AFRAID OF PINK

AND THAT AFTERNOON, ISAIAH AND I WENT TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY WHERE WE GOT TO EXPLORE A REAL FIRETRUCK. THE FIREMEN WERE GREAT, TAKING SOME TIME TO STOP BY THE BIRTHDAY PARTY, IT WAS A REAL TREAT FOR ALL THE KIDS.
SAVANNAH'S NOT SO SURE ABOUT IT....

BIRTHDAY BOY, JACOB, TRYING ON SOME FIREFIGHTER DUDS.

MY LITTLE EXPLORER...I COULD SEE HIM AS A FIREFIGHTER....WE SHALL SEE

Jeanette's Engagement Party

2008-08-08T11:21:00.000-07:00

Mid-July, my sister Jeanette and her fiance Mike flew in from Hawaii. Mike's family in San Francsico threw them a big engagement party. This gave us an opportunity to spend some time down in the at area with them and getting to know Mike's family. It was soooooo good to see them. The party was a blast, with lots of people, and here are a few pics!

THE HAPPY COUPLEGREAT PIC OF MY MOM AND DAD
SILLY AUNT JEANETTE

CUTTING A FABULOUS CAKE MADE BY A FAMILY FRIEND

A KISS CAUGHT ON FILM

AHHHH IN-LAWS

SISTERS TO THE CORE

CAN'T EVEN TELL WE'RE RELATED...J/K, WE LOOK SO MUCH ALIKE, IT'S FRIGHTENING

TRYING ON A FEW DRESSES JUST FOR FUN, SHE LOOKED AMAZING

OUR BELOVED YARD OF DIRT

2008-08-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

Since this has been such a crazy and long project that took up most of our month of July, I had a million pictures of it. It has been quite intense and it scares me a little to be looking at a front yard full of dirt, however, the finished product is exciting to imagine. So here is a little of that journey. At one point the city gave us a stop work order...we didn't exactly stop work, however, we made our peace with the city in the end.

BEFORE
BEFORE - STREET VIEW

CUTTING DOWN ONE OF THE TREES....LOTS OF FUN FOR THE BOYS

ISAIAH IS READY FOR ACTION, NOTICE THE TEDDY GRAHAM IN THE BUCKET

RICHARD-OUR NEIGHBOR- GOT RIGHT TO WORK, HE KNOWS HIS STUFFISAIAH GETTING HIS SHOT ON THE TRACTOR WITH DADDY

RICHARD TAKING THE BOYS FOR RIDES...THEY WERE IN HEAVEN!!!

MITCHELL MOVED HIS FAIR SHARE OF DIRT AROUND TOO!

MIDWAY POINT - A LOOK FROM THE FRONT

ISAIAH IS VERY SERIOUS ABOUT HIS WORK!

AND THE WAY IT LOOKS TODAY, AS WE WAIT FOR THE MATERIALS TO ARRIVE

POOOOOP

2008-08-06T01:51:00.000-07:00

FINALLY!!! Months and months of helping Isaiah identify the 'pooping' sensation is starting to pay off. I made a routine of telling Isaiah every time he appeared to be 'pooping' that he was doing so. And then every time we went to the changing table, of stating 'lets get the poop-out,' (said in the same inflexions as 'get the #@*! out')...which seemed to make changes more bear-able for him since I made it a bit silly.

Well yesturday...at 14 months....Isaiah went to the changing table himself, patting it till daddy came over, and then he grabbed his diaper and said quite plainly 'POOP!' And in fact he did have a poopy diaper.
Then this morning when i got him out of his crib he repeated the same to me, he grabbed his diaper, and said, 'POOP!'

Wooooo Hooooo

If only he had this new found ability 2 weeks ago, when i was unaware for a minute that he was sitting in a tub of -floaties-.

One step closer to being potty trianed! Out comes the little potty now!

Sometimes the smallest battles are such huge victories.

Isaiah continues to grow his vocabulary, saying new words all the time. He really likes, "what's this," but the words that he says about a hundred times a day include, car (his favorite), ta (for Tahoe our dog) and shoe. New words for the week include: book (one day he just handed it to me and said, book!...blew me away), and food, (he always did the hand sign for food, but this itme he said it along with the sign). His version of 'I love you,' appears to be shortened to 'you..'

I'll take it!!!!! Motherhood is neat.

Quick Quote from M.T.

2008-08-03T11:25:00.000-07:00

A quick quote from M.T. (as we call her,...really Mother Theresa).

"The more we empty ourselves out, the more we leave room for God to fill us." -M.T.-

the only way for me to do this is to...

"Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord is the Rock eternal." -Isaiah 26:4-

He calls us his children and loves us so much, I wish I could understand that better.

****I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S AUGUST**** What in the world, pictures of our crazy July will follow soon.

Odds and Ends

2008-07-30T06:08:00.000-07:00

3 adoption classes down....only 6 to go!!!! What an amazing journey.

Women be kind to your bladders....drink lots of water, and don't forget to pee...it can make you very impatient with your children (and clumsy too) when you are trying to hold it all day.

Almost looking forward to the craziness of summer being over, and the nice routine of the school year kicking in.

I almost fell asleep while driving home the other day from work. No that's not the worst part, I was eating corn nuts...I mean actually crunching a corn nut (for the express purpse of staying awake), as I nodded my head. And to make you cringe even more, don't forget that I drive 'home' from work at 7:30 in the morning. Yes corn nuts in the a.m. is normal for me on a work day. hehehe

My Love/Hate Relationship with Costco

2008-07-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

I bought a box of diapers the other day at costco....cost me $192.00....okay maybe just a few tomatoes and some bread too. What the heck, at this rate, we'll never be able to afford 5 kids.

Annual Camping Trip to Silver Lake

2008-07-15T09:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, Okay, I may have added more pictures than I originally intended to, but I just couldn't help it.

Our annual camping trip to Silver Lake was a success! We had such a blast, mostly watching Isaiah have a blast. Ever since he was a newborn, his favorite place to be was under the trees. He can now even say tree, among the many other words he learned this week. My mom said it sounds like he just got back from language camp. I definitely think that the exertion of physical energy and the many challenges to his major motor skills played a part on the rapid speech growth he had. He can identify and say pine cone, tree, watermelon, milk, tent to name a few. Isaiah also took to mimicking us yelling at Tahoe. Since Tahoe was off his leash most of the time we had to keep taps on from occasionally wandering off, but after a few days, Isaiah did it for us, and made sure that Tahoe was always right at his side, ie.... come tah, come, come, sit, tah, sit...then he would clap when Tahoe obeyed, that was hilarious. Well, here are pictures of the highlights.

The first HOUR of camping I knew would be the dirtiest

There are endless things to put in a wagon and pull around

Enjoying some morning snuggle time with daddy

Me and my boy playing in the river

Trying to keep all three of my boys safe in the river can be quite the task

Isaiah LOVED the river, getting rocks out of the bottom, and blowing bubbles (to moms horror....do you know what kinds of bacteria there are in there!) Saved once again from giardia!

Sometimes the best place to sleep is anywhere!

Just wanted to show off my husbands awesome photography skills

Dirt is a boys best friend

Okay, so even without an axe Rob managed to find a way to hack wood

Check out my belly man! I'm the new up and coming Skaggs lumberjack

The lake was a bit colder than the river, so Isaiah stayed close to us. Check out the smoke!

Isaiah was in heaven with camp food, he got to eat things like canned green beans and sausage, box drinks etc...things he doesn't get at home :)

Okay, the next 2 are just cute, couldn't resist including them, my little explorer.

These two are inseparable!

Anybody out there ?

Me and little man

Little man and big man

And of coarse the attempt at a group shot with the timer and camera on a big rock, you can't even tell that Rob almost ate it 2 seconds before....even Tahoe cooperated

Free Will

2008-07-13T17:07:00.000-07:00

We are lonesome animals. We spend all of our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story begging the listener to say-and to feel- ‘Yes, that is the way it is, or at least that is the way I feel it.’ You’re not as alone as you thought.
-John Steinbeck

I have been gone a bit from the blogging world. But I couldn't stay away long. I love this avenue of expression, and have come to think of it as a means by which the above quote to be true. We are no longer a community people as in the past. We no longer gather at the water hole at the dawn to fetch our daily drink. We no longer sit on our front porches catching up with all the neighbors by night. We no longer gather for church with our extended family and friends that we've known since birth. We don't even live in the same town but more than a 7 year average...not nearly long enough to truly be known. And so we have to invent new ways by which our feelings of 'community' might be re-established.

I have had the express privilege of being in a place where i felt as though all community were lost. And really this is a very painful, yet very true to the soul place to be. When all community is lost, and it's just you...I mean really just you...is God there too? What a question to ask? Have you invited him into that space? It can be the only difference between desolate loneliness and hope. I have been back and forth recently, and I can truly say that hope, although harder to hold at times is the best option.

Although no details are needed, it is important for me to be real, and the real truth is that I am human is so is my husband.

What a statement.

I've heard it said that the only difference between someone who proclaims to be a Christian and someone who does not boils down to a single word: Forgiveness. The forgiveness God offers is no light thing. In fact it's very heavy...but once you've received it the burden is so light.

Rob and I have hit a point of crisis. This is real. I no longer believe that there are couples out there that don't have issues. We have had real issues in the past , but we have swept them under the rug, in the hopes that they would go away on there own, now they have a name. The battle has only just begun...but as Rob read to me from the Green Letters, it's good to know that we don't have to fight it. God is fighting for us, He's on our side, and he wants OUR marriage to succeed. If you try to fight it yourself, you are doomed to fail because the enemy is smarter and more cunning than you are. The weapons we need to claim are prayer, study and more prayers. I am doing a terrible job...that's just the truth, but that's where my community of friends have been so helpful in reminding me.

Far from wanting to air my dirty laundry, which I do not believe in. The point of this is simply to be real, to point out that we are not perfect. I hope that Rob and I keep fighting against putting on a perfect face. What a tempting thing that is to do. We are simply imperfect people living in an imperfect world under the loving arms of a Perfect Heavenly Father. Thank goodness for that.

What I'm learning: How much better is love that is chosen in free will, than love that is manipulated.... do you see .....Apply that statement now to God and his choice of free will for people makes more sense all the time.

Yosemite and Hard Lessons

2008-06-29T22:12:00.000-07:00

This past week Rob and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary. For this we traveled together to Yosemite and climbed Half Dome, the place of our engagement 5 years ago. This place, this tabernacle of Gods creation hold such a strong place in our hearts. Today our pastor asked us if we simply pass by the extraordinary in life without stopping to be AMAZED at our creator. Well, it sure is hard to go to Yosemite and not feel as though you are walking along inside God's fingerprint, to feel so overwhelmed with beauty that you can't speak, and then to be hit square in the forehead with the thought...if this is what it looks like on earth, what must God's dwelling look like?

So the hike to the top is ten hours round trip...yes it was a very strenuous, but an amazing ten hours. On our way back we vowed not to speak of our aches and pains until we got to the car. If you can believe this, the way down is the most painful part. Under the canopy of neon green leaves, and above the roar of a powerful waterfall, I made the analogy that life is like this hike. We can choose to grumble about our pain as we walk along, focusing on each step, each painful step and wondering when it will be over. Or we can choose to look up, in the middle of the pain and enjoy the beauty of Gods love that surrounds us if we would only look up. It doesn't mean that the pain is gone, oh no. It does mean that inspite of the pain, or in midst of the pain, he gives our eyes a place to focus that's beautiful beyond description. He's there, God is all around us, waiting for his children to see him, to seek him, to hike after him...but sometimes we get so focused on the pain that we don't see the beauty....and thank him.

Little did I know this seemingly meaningless analogy that I had blurted out to Rob would be so needed by me.

From the book "For those who hurt" by Chuck Swindoll

When words fail, tears flow.

Tears have a language all their own, a tongue that needs no
interpreter. In some mysterious way, our complex inner-communication system
knows when to admit its verbal limitations... and the tears come.

Eyes that flashed and sparkled only moments before are flooded from a
secret reservoir. We try in vain to restrain the flow, but even strong men
falter.

Tears are not self-conscious. They can spring upon us when we are
speaking in public, or standing beside others who look to us for strength. Most
often they appear when our soul is overwhelmed with feelings that words cannot
describe.

Our tears may flow during the singing of a great, majestic hymn, or when we
are alone, lost in some vivid memory or wrestling in prayer.

Did you know that God takes special notice of those tears of
yours?

Psalm 56:8 tells us that He puts them in His bottle and enters them into
the record He keeps on our lives.

David said, "The Lord has heard the voice of my weeping."

A teardrop on earth summons the King of Heaven. Rather
than being ashamed or disappointed, the Lord takes note of our inner friction
when hard times are oiled by tears. He turns these situations into moments of
tenderness. He never forgets those crises in our lives where tears are
shed."

A moment with an MD

2008-06-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

When a child is in a traumatic accident, many times we are able to keep their hearts pumping with drugs, but they have already gone to be with the Lord. These sweet children then become candidates for organ donation. The machines and drugs keep them alive long enough to go to the OR for harvesting the organs to save other lives. As I was helping with one such child last night, I was assisting the MD with a procedure before sending her to the OR, and I asked him if there was anything else he needed. To this he replied, "a harder heart." I was still in a very focused state of mind and was confused by this reply as I knew that her heart was in a un-donatable state, and I just could not figure what he was asking me for. "Refering to....?" I asked, and he said, "Me, the girl looks just like my daughter. I'm just not cut out for this."

Life is hard. Make some things easy. Please talk with your loved ones about organ donation and make your requests known to them so that if that time comes, the decision will be easy.

Visist: http://www.donatelife.net/ or www. gsds.org

Nursing...an art? according to Florence Nightingale.

2008-06-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

This is dedicated to my nursing friends and family. It was given to me by a nursing student that I recently precepted at work. Thank you Jen for it, I'd never read it before and yet I admire Florence Nightingale so much.

"Nursing is an art: and if it is to be made an art, it requires an exclusive devotion as hard a preparation as any painter's or sculptor's work; for what is the having to do with dead canvas or dead marble, compared with having to do with the living body, the temple of God's spirit? It is one of the Fine Arts: I had almost said, the finest of Arts." -Florence Nightingale-

then i found this also from Florence Nightingale:
"Every woman or at least almost every woman in England, has at one tine or another of her life charge of the personal health of somebody whether child or invalid. In other words every woman is a nurse."

Hurray for you moms who are nurses at home to your families!

It's a nail biter!!!!

2008-06-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

So in the shower this morning I was thinking, (I seem to do some of my best thinking there lately...it must be cause it's quiet), and I had to write this down before I went to bed. But before I get to it, have I mentioned how grateful I am for this group of people that we call our bible study? We call it 'bible study,' but they all have come to mean so much to me. We have been meeting for almost 4 years now? I think it is. (the picture above is from this past winter retreat, sorry Micah I think you were in the car) They are certainly more to me than a group of people I just see once a week for a study, in fact we usually see each other more than once a week in some capacity or another. We are truly blessed by all of their friendships, they are encouragers of the faith, and stength for one another in weaknesses, sharing burdens no matter how small or large. Believe it or not there are ten children in all that belong to the above picture, and we love every one of them.

Anyway this past Thursday, as it is summer, each couple is doing individual devotional studies, and Brad and Megan did one on worry and fear. It must have been a topic that God wanted me to hear because I then heard it and the same verses again on Sunday from our pastor, and then again this morning on the way home from work on the radio by Chuck Swindol. It must be worth sharing cause I've heard it now 3 times this week.

Seriously, no seriously, read it,

Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: REJOICE! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (here's the best part) And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

And so the above is my life verse. And the word of God has amazing power. It reminds me to turn my worry and stress over to him, and He gives me peace in doing so. I have to claim those words over and over again, and then again, and probably for the rest of my life.

So if i appear calm and collected at any given moment it is only a result of one of 2 things. I am either way overcompensating/covering up for how i feel inside, or it is God's grace that has given me peace in the moment.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

2008-06-16T11:45:00.000-07:00

YEAH JEANETTE! I am so happy for you and Mike. My sister got engaged this weekend, on the beach in Hawaii. They actually both live there and seem to be enjoying themselves. Mike is a great guy, and the whole family is so thrilled for her. Mike we're excited about getting to know you better and couldn't be more happy for you both.
(This is from Easter 07 and is the most recent I have of the 2 of them together)

Remember deep thought by Jack Handy? Well these aren't deep and I'm not Jack

2008-06-13T22:45:00.000-07:00

Any political/world relations junkies out there. (I know I just wrote about a student of motherhood too, but like i said, i can't just read one.) I started a book on my IPOD that is quite eye-opening. Check out 'America Alone,' I love the part that says,

"All dominate powers are hated- Britain was, Rome was,..America is hated for every reason. The fanatical Muslims despise America because it's all lap-dancing and gay porn; the secular Europeans despise America because it's all born-again Christians..; the anti-Semites despise America because it's controlled by Jews. Too Jewish, too Christian, too godless, America is George Orwell's, Room 101..."

I thought that was a pretty interesting thought, very true to form (and true to it's title). Ever heard those different view points on the news? Well, hope that gets you interested, I have been so far.

Actually what I want to say is that the patient I've had for the last 2+ weeks and last night, died today. Thank you Jesus for taking him home while in the arms of him mommy, and not while still connected to everything. Have you ever wondered what it's like to hold a grieving mom, or bathe a dying baby, to make keepsake footprints with a crying daddy, to re-assure a mom that it's a courageous thing to let her baby go, to know with certainty that it will be the last time you see a child, to want with every fiber of your being to see a miracle happen and at the same crushing moment to want them to return home to heaven, have you ever wondered?
Every morning when I come home to the cheerful exuberant shout of my baby, I am besides myself with awe and love and a word that doesn't exist. It's a funny thing to come from a night of the former description and dive right into giggles and play, sleep for 4 hours and then go to baseball game as if nothing happened. Sometimes I wish that people who asked me about work were really ready to listen and hear the hard stuff, sometimes I need to share the hard stuff. I wouldn't trade my job for anything, I love what I do, but who else would do it...any takers ready to help a child heaven-bound? Wow, life is soooo precious. SLOW DOWN PLEASE....just don't rush so fast from thing to thing without taking the time to think.

A Student of Motherhood

2008-06-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

Of coarse I'd like to be the ideal mother.

But I'm too busy raising children.

-from the comic strip "The Family Circus" by Bil Keane

I got to thinking recently....which is always dangerous, as Rob says. I was challenged by a thought, from which i derived the title. The question that sprung to my mind was, 'are you being a student of motherhood?' Now I really don't know how i came to think about it in those terms, but what follows is a bit of my thought process.

As children we spend an enormous amount of time in school. Our parents spend an equally amount of time and energy 'teaching' and 'preparing' us for life. Once we've completed what the country has deemed acceptable for an education to prepare us for life (h.s.), many of us realize that it probably is going to take a lot more school to satisfy that. And so on to college we go. While there we choose a profession/career to study and we continue to be students, following on with internships, externships, discipleships, apprenticeships, ecetera-ships. Most of us really try to get and glean everything we can from these opportunities in the hopes that we will be good at our jobs (or in my case...with the hopes that i won't kill anyone...). Then somewhere along the lines marriage happens, and with any luck (well, i don't really believe in luck, but you get the drift) (or unluck) children can happen. And just before you are forced to spread your legs to give birth, and all the modesty you have tried to preserve all these years is thrown right out the window...you suddenly realize that life will never be the same. And then what? And there's my question?

I've embarked on THE most important job of my life, and what I'm wondering is, am I being a good student? We tend to forget that this isn't just a come as you will by day and night sort of job. It's a job where your actions leave life-time consequences for better or worse. No matter who you are or how old you are you will forever look back to your childhood as a molding of the person you are today. So many factors play into your character, I do realize.

Here lets put it this way. When I wanted to grow a garden I went out and bought all the 'stuff' I needed. At the time I was living in an apartment, so it was a container garden. Although my dad had grown gardens when i was a child, I never did one myself. And so my plants grew and grew, but to my dismay, as large and bushy as they were, I still had no tomatoes. So I paid a little closer attention. I had yellow flowers, moist soil, green leaves. But no tomatoes, then I realized that the flowers were simply falling off the plant before the tomato bud had time to start. I tried every remedy I could to keep those flowers from falling off. But in the end I had large bushy green plants that looked beautiful, with no fruit to show for it. (I seriously didn't even know how perfect this analogy was until I started typing). You may get a child that looks good on the outside, but has no fruit or substance of character, and by the time you try and remedy the problem, it might be too late.

2 summers later, in Chico, I decided to scratch out an area of our backyard and try again. This time, I felt that I had what I needed to remedy the above problem. Again I bought the 'stuff,' with a few extras, and I was ready to go. I was so proud of what I had started...it really looked beautiful. Well, as things go...I got engaged that summer and really wasn't around Chico all that much. The drip system I set up worked beautifully, however, and in my absence did it's job like clock work, keeping my plants alive. In the end, I did have fruit, not very good looking fruit, on overgrown, un-manageable plants, with tomato slugs and all. Children need time spent with them to produce good fruit, and just having the right 'stuff' won't always make good looking fruit.

Well, I hope the analogy isn't getting lost in the details, it is actually precisely in the details. 2 summers later, married and in a house on fertile soil, I was bound and determined to be patient and do this right. So instead of equipment and plants and 'stuff,' I bought books and seeds. I needed to start right, I needed to study it and learn what I was doing to have the best outcome. What an incredible time in the garden I had that year and the harvest was so magnificent and abundant. If I am going to dive into anything now, I try and read and study as much as possible about it before hand...for the best outcome. Can you see the children in the above analogies?

For the most important job I will ever have, however, I don't think that I am investing all that I can into 'learning' to be the best mom possible. This doesn't come easy. We are not all equipped with the right tools for the job (I certainly am not), or with the right attitude or goals. These are things that we have to learn. And while I will admit that a lot of this is on the job training, there is so much out there to study in order to make us the best mom possible.

** I just feel guilty that in all the things I have studied over the years, and the time I poured over them, none were half as important as my current task. And for that I don't feel that I am allowing myself the same amount of study. **

Colossians 3: 23 - "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

I WANT TO BE A STUDENT OF MOTHERHOOD - WILL YOU JOIN ME?

This is a poem from a book that I'm going to start again (I never finished it) called "The Power of a Positive MOM" (thanks sandy).

I took a piece of plastic clay
And idly fashioned it one day;
And as my fingers pressed it still,
It moved and yielded to my will.

I came again when days were past,
The form I gave it still did last
And as my fingers pressed it still,
I could change that form no more at will.

I took a piece of living clay,
And gently formed it day by day,
And molded with my power and art,
A young child's soft and yielding heart.

I came again when days were gone;
It was a man I looked upon,
He still that early impress bore,
And I could change it never more.
-Author Unknown-

Captiol "T"

2008-06-09T09:54:00.000-07:00

On our way to the Phantom of the Opera.....never had the city take a picture of me before. I look so short next to Rob...you think there's any way to contest that it wasn't really us driving? We were practically blinded after the photo-shoot. We knew this was coming. What a frustrating event though. It went a little like this: we're coming down off the freeway, and the light is green...green....green...oh shoot it's yellow, and uhhhh, well I better just go, it's a right hand turn,....did that thing just flash, hey I know it was still yellow when I entered the inter-section, better smile (but we must have missed our cue).

Traffic school and a big fat bail comin' my way.

Rob and I have a way of getting into unintentional trouble together (see above), or stumbling into things. This past week we went to see a Casting Crowns concert (which was fabulous, by the way). On our way out afterwards we exited a back door and spent a second discussing (arguing) which way would be best back to the car. I won this one, so we went my way, which entailed going through/in-between equipment sound boxes out back past their truck etc, and around the building. As we were doing so, out one of the back doors comes one of the singers, and then Mark the lead singer...we thought that was pretty cool, but we passed by...then decided to turn around and thank him for the night, and also to tell him that we had one of his songs sung at our wedding. So we did, we shook his hand, had a small conversation, and he asked our names. It was really nice, as we turned to walk away, his body-guard guy was on the radio, "hey there are people back here, how are people getting back here." Ooops. Well, it was fun and worth it. So thanks Mark, it was nice meeting you, we had a great time that night!

P.S. (Where are all you commenters?)

Isaiah Turned ONE!

2008-06-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

Saturday May 31st - Isaiah's First Birthday
What an incredible time we had on Saturday. Rob and I went into Isaiah's room singing happy birthday when he woke up. He loved it! We just had so much fun that day. We were blessed with so many friends and family that came over to help us celebrate Isaiah's life. It lasted much longer than I had anticipated, which was a blast. Isaiah, as always, loves to have lots of people and kids around, so he was in heaven. He never did take an afternoon nap...but you never would have known it. Thank you to everyone for your love and support. We felt so blessed on Saturday. So the best part...here are the pics.

(Isaiah is helping daddy put together his birthday present, getting it ready for the party)

(All finished, a table just his size!)(Isaiah's ready for the party in his jungle clothes, checking out his present from Grandma and Papa)
(Some of Isaiah's friends, it was truely a jungle (missing from the pic, Caevin, Drew, Bryson, Gavin, Cole, James, Madilyn, Cammy, Brenden, Mitchell))

(I wish that I hadn't helped him blow it out, cause he was trying and I really think he could have done it himself.)

(Needless to say, HE LOVED IT! I think he ended up eating almost the whole thing. Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. When I was frosting it in the morning, I gave him a few tastes of what was to come. His first real 'sweet.'...right grandma?

(This is the cake that we shared with everyone, it was so much fun to make!)(Bye everyone, thanks for coming. Come on over to our jungle anytime.)

Isaiah's First Inoculation with Toilet Water!!!

2008-06-04T17:41:00.000-07:00

THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!

Isaiah's was being particularly clingy yesterday, but mostly he was wanting to be held. I was brushing my teeth, and I couldn't accomidate him at the moment, so I decided to give him daddy's toothbrush to see if maybe he just wanted to do what I was doing. Sure enough, he put that brush right in his mouth and repeated everything that I was doing, even the sounds. It was great! With him happy and content, I returned to the sink and finished up what I was doing. Then the silence...it's alwasy ominous. I walked into the water closet to find Isaiah with a wet shirt and daddy's toothbrush in the toilet.

Let the Ecoli party begin.

Daddy got a new toothbrush.

Isaiah got a mouth full of bacteria.

He is fine today....I think we worry too much. HAHAHAHA

Fingerprinted...and so much more.

2008-05-28T04:17:00.000-07:00

(I am having to work back-wards here from Memorial day weekend)

We had the craziest weekend! But before I can get to that and include pictures, I wanted to say that steps 1-2 are completed on our adoption checklist! And 3-4 will follow by the end of the week! But the worst part of the fingerprinting process was not that it took almost an hour because they had some new guy trying it out. Nor was it the fact that we had Isaiah with us and he was less than impressed with this one room windowless office. The worst part was all it took to get my fingerprints/backround check done was for me to show my drivers licence to an elderly lady (Rob and I both happened to be wearing hats that day). Some safety check.

What an incredibly busy and fantastic weekend we had over Memorial Day!

Friday I got to have lunch with some nursing class mates of mine from Chico. Although half the time I had to spend chasing Isaiah around, it was so good to see these old friends. Some of them I haven't seen in a couple years. A week before this I also got to have lunch with Jana my old room-mate from school (she's sitting to the left of me). It was a lot of fun. There is something special about the bond between nurses. I found it interesting that of this group of friends, we all are in an ICU unit of some sort...this is very rare, and it must say something about our personalities that formed the friendships. Good to see you girls!

That night I worked of corse. Saturday night we went to a restaurant/bar in down-town sac, and got to follow that up with a night at the theatre. We saw Fantom of the Opera. This was my third time seeing it, and I have decided that it isn't my favorite play. The interpretation of this one kind of soured my enjoyment of it. From such a standard, familiar play, it was interesting to get such a different impression of the characters etc.

Sunday - Mom and dad came to church with us and afterwards we enjoyed the church memorial day BBQ. It was pretty fun watching the kids run around. Mom and I followed that up with a trip to the Vacaville outlets to catch some deals (while Isaiah and daddy slept). Then I dropped off mom at the Jazz Jubile down-town. At about 65th, I exited the free-way and made a u-turn, deciding to join the party down there (after all daddy assured me that him and Isaiah were having a great time together...and I wouldn't want to interupt that). So I partied it up with my parents at the Jazz Jubile, and met some great people.

And finally Monday we enjoyed our time with our family/friends at the park for a Memorial Day BBQ. It turned out to be a lot of work, but was worth it in the end. Enjoy some pics.

(Rob and Grant 'manning' the BBQ)

(Are these the cutest kids you've ever seen or what? I just love them all so much!!)
(Poor Noah, layed up from surgery still. Looks like he's on dog duty)
(I just loved this picture of Haylie and Jacob playing)
(The girls - seriously I don't know what I would don without them)

(The Papa's enjoying every minute with their little bud)

MY BABY!!!!

MY MAN!!!!

2008-05-20T11:19:00.000-07:00

Today I want to brag about my man! Last night Rob stayed up late finishing a new project. He made a new rail for our back porch. The slats went lateral before and were very spaced out, making it not so safe for toddlers. So he removed all those and replaced them with vertical slats...to code. I love it! It looks so great, and I am so proud of him. He amazes me with all that he can do, and even if he doesn't know how, he always figures it out. What a stud. Here is the finished product which I promptly took pictures of this morning.

Viagra for Babies

2008-05-18T21:14:00.000-07:00

Every now and again I come across something at work that the outside world would think is crazy...well, maybe more often than every now and again. But to me these things are just normal. I thought for you 'outside' world people, i'd give you an interesting nugget into our crazy world.
And so, yes it's true. The other night I gave my baby patient a few doses of viagra. Although, we don't call it that. It goes by it's trade name in pediatrics because when treatment was first being tired, people flipped their lid at the idea of giving viagra to babies. And so it's called sildenafil....same drug....different name. Now, I know what your question is (particularly you, Grant, if you're reading this)....and the answer is no.
Sildenafil is used to treat pulmonary hypertension. In other words it lowers pulmonary vascular resistance and thereby increases the ability to oxygenate. Esentially it's a dilator...we all know that. But very interesting huh?

Camping?

2008-05-15T09:58:00.000-07:00

No we were not camping - this is taken from the very seat I am sitting in right now...from our office window. HOW COOL IS THIS!!!! You can see how close to our window they got. Is it weird that I said a prayer for them, and their safety? Some many beautiful deer get hit on the roads around here. There is so much building going on, where will they go? Our backyard apparently....following the creek.

"Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

Chuck Swindol has said this quote before, and I had to run home and write it down the other day, "One ship sails east, one ship sails west. Reguardless of how the winds blow, it is the set of the sail and not the gail that determines the way it will go."

Little Lads & Large Lattes

One of the Wildest Weeks of Our Life

Tomorrow we meet our Daughter!

A Baby on the Horizon??!??!

Monterey 2009

Boys and Their Nakedness

Life is more unpredictable than we'd like to admit

BIG BOY BED

Easter finally

2 Fun New Isaiah Phrases:

Birthday's, Soccer Games, and Memorable Moments

Fun times to share

SPRING IS HERE!

All my best thinkin' happens in the shower.

More Midnight Posts

Bowling and Good Friends

House Keeping...Fluff pillow?

Our First Adoption of the Year!!

2 Questions??

You know you're the mom of a toddler when.....

An Isaiah First

Bodega Bay 2009

President Obama

A New Chapter

Adjusting the Sail

Ringing in the New Year Busy Busy

Happy New Years!

Merry Christmas From the Skaggs

Hot Chocolate and a Christmas Party

18 Months already come and gone!

HouseKeeping

WOOOO HOOOO

Family Pics

Happy Belated National Adoption Week!!!

Just a few Slideshows to catch you up

Soon to come :)

BE GREY - BE PROUD!

Isaiah's FIRST 'ER' Trip

FALL!!!

Redeeming Love

Working Women Wednesday

Keep Tahoe Blue...and keep me real.

Working Women Wednesday

Can you guess????

Isaiah's Dedication

The Great Romancer

Potty Talk

16 Months!

Too Cute To Pass Up

Puss Please

Wedding, Water, and Way Cool Boys

Outside my comfort zone

A bit o' fun

Fun Facts from the Body

GOING GREEN

State Fair Days Are Here Again

Month of the truck

It's all about Laminin

7 down...2 to go

Tag- Your It...Okay I'll Play

Hot Tamale Train!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!

I Admit, I'm a Junky

Safeway can kiss my paycheck good-bye...and other money saving tips

Ugliness and Silly Fun

BEWARE!!!

A Baby Shower and a Birthday Party

Jeanette's Engagement Party

OUR BELOVED YARD OF DIRT

POOOOOP

Quick Quote from M.T.

Odds and Ends

My Love/Hate Relationship with Costco

Annual Camping Trip to Silver Lake

Free Will

Yosemite and Hard Lessons

A moment with an MD

Nursing...an art? according to Florence Nightingale.

It's a nail biter!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Remember deep thought by Jack Handy? Well these aren't deep and I'm not Jack