Life is more unpredictable than we'd like to admit

It's All about Perspective.... (Does anyone read these long ones?)

Like I said in a previous blog, although April was full of very cool and fun times, it was also full of some difficult moments. The pictures above are of a plane that crashed about a 100 yards from our house, into the front yard of another. Rob and I happened to be on a run when it took place. We were pointing out all the emergency vehicles to Isaiah as they wizzed by us on the Blvd....but then it became a bit scary. There were sooooo many of them, and by the time we got within a mile of the house we also noticed that they were in our neighborhood, and a news helicopter seemed to be circling our house. The plane that crashed was flown by a gentleman in his early 60's, and they are still unsure what happened, but it was unfortunately his last flight. My neighbors were outside when it happened, coming down right over their backyard, breaking off tree branches as it crashed and then exploded into a fire ball. All the men rushed out with garden hoses to put out the fire best they could. The pilot was obviously no longer in the plane (as you can see there was nothing left of it), and was pronounced at the scene. My heart was so heavy for this poor man and his family, and to wonder what his last thoughts were as he came down, and whether or not he really was attempting to avoid streets and houses as some were saying.

Just a week before that on a run with Rob, I was the only witness to an awful bike accident. The man was coming down the Blvd going about 30, and out of the blue he just flips and he and the bike do a couple hard summersaults. Then the man layed there motionless. It was across four lanes of traffic and we were kind of on a bluff, so while I stayed with Isaiah in the stroller, Rob ran over to him. The paramedics were there within about 8 minutes, as I finally made my way across the street. But the poor man was torn up and bleeding from head to toe, clothes shredded, clavicle busted...but neurologically intact...thank you Jesus. Those couple minutes of him not moving had me anxious.

That was the start of the weekend that I had to go to work. This particular weekend, I assisted the parents of my patient talk to Golden State Donor Services about organ donation for their baby girl (not much older than Isaiah), and then proceeded to assist the doctor in removing her from life support and getting her situated so that mom could hold her for the last time while she took her last breaths, all under the watchful eyes of the police....why the police had to stand there in those last moments, I'm still not sure but it will be a criminal case. I've changed my position a bit about end of life for children of abusive parents. I have a bit more compassion now for the situation than I used to. No matter what they did to cause the end for their children, in that last moment, I believe it's a sacred one. I attempt to give them every possible support (whatever that means) and at the same time the opportunity to hold and morn their child in private. No matter what they did, that to me is still a private moment. This particular case burned me up, because I never got a straight answer why the officer felt she needed to be there, and because she was there the social worker felt like she had to stay, and the doctor feeling the uncomfortability of the moment also stayed. My efforts to suggest privacy were ignored. It was a bit frustrating.

And finally my point about perspective. This past month I also had the privilege of caring for 2 teenage boys in their final days of cancer. Each had a different type of cancer, but each became aware of the finality of their days within a day of each other. Both boys are experiencing pain, both are experiencing their last days, and both are enduring the unthinkable...and yet it was amazing to go into each of their rooms and experience something all together different. One boys room leaves you feeling so helpless, sad, and frustrated. His room is depressing simply because the spirit there is heavy and dark. In one moment of weakness I saw into his fear and sadness over his situation, but beyond that he is closed to everyone as is his family...all dealing with the impending death such heavy denial that it's burying them all.

The second boy was incredible! He already had experienced such intense pain in his early life, as he shared with me one afternoon, watching his parents meth addiction. Becoming adopted by his grandparents, and then as an early teen diagnosed with cancer. His room always carried the spirit of hope and life, carrying on the fight to the end. He shared with me the faith in Christ that he found, even though none of his family were "church goers." What an amazing young man. I felt privileged to have been his nurse (and apparently I made his top 5 nurse list :) But mostly I will always carry with me the memory of being able to pray with him and his family 2 days before he died. According to the next nurse, this was apparently the step it took for his family and friends to finally say their final prayers and good byes with him (like I said, he was a fighter to the end).

What I took away from that last month is what brings me around to perspective. What perspective do you carry in life? 2 boys, both with the same outcomes, but choosing to celebrate or not to celebrate and enjoy the life around them. Do you complain about a fussy child? A woman across the street struggling with infertility may just love to be in your shoes. Do you complain about working? Not just in this county, but around the work people would give their right arm to work (well then they wouldn't be very productive...hummm).

Rather, let me tell you about all the things I complain about and need to re-think.

I complain about work:

In the middle east, woman are not allowed to work in some places (even if they are widowed and have children to feed). In most countries woman work just to feed their families....My working provides "fluff" stuff, a comfortable life.

I complain about my husband:

I have a husband...for one....who loves me...and provides for our family....and loves our son...and is active and loves to do different things...and keeps my bed warm at night.

I complain about our crappy carpet (I want hard wood floors so bad):

I have a house; I have a house with floors, I don't have to live on the 9th floor of a commy-block building with no elevator and share a tiny apartment with my in-laws (I had dinner in Romania with such a family, and the 70 year old women had to climb those stairs every day, as did the mom with all the groceries...etc., oh and the apartment was the size of my living room).

I complain about being cold in the winter:

But I don't live in North Dakota.... or in some countries where electricity is only available during certain times of the day, even in cold winter(and although my sister lives in Hawaii, even she complains about the weather from time to time....)

I complain that meal times are such a struggle with Isaiah:

But not only is he healthy, he is not developmentally challenged needing to be fed or needing special food therapies, being fed through tubes (like i have to do for so many children at work...ugggg that liquid food smells so bad!).

Well, that's enough for now. I challenge you to take a minute and look at your complaints in life with perspective. How would others around the world, or just around the block see your position...? Like I said in the title, life is more unpredictbale than we'd like to admit. Family members get divorced, cancer, accidents happen, unexpected unemployment, but in the end how is your perspective. Are you positively impacting those around you with your perspective or otherwise? Life is so fragle...we are not immortal, however, "who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" Stop worrying and live life with perspective.