Maybe a little Different

I am very very excited. Isaiah's 1st birthday is coming up. I had a funny thought about that too. In some cultures they don't celebrate the baby until he turns a year for fear that it might jinks the baby or something (and where infant mortality rate is 500 how can you blame them). The other day, as i was sending out his invitations, i thought, "wow, I can't believe I've been able to keep my baby alive and thriving for a whole year." I know that sounds weird and morbid, but maybe if you saw what i see on a weekly basis you might understand. I work in a place where keeping kids alive from day to day seems almost futile in some cases, and things can turn on a dime without any notice. We may work for months with a child to bring them to the point of health to go home, only to get notice a few weeks later that they died unexpectedly at home. It's so discouraging at times. So anyway, all that to say, that I am very excited that Isaiah is turning one, I can't believe that I have been his mommy for almost a year, and that he is healthy, and is meeting all the milestones appropriately, and seems to be thriving. I guess i forget just how resilient 'normal' children are.

But you titled this 'maybe a little different', you ask. Yes, and that is because on Isaiah's birthday invitation I requested no presents from our friends. What a strange thing to do I suppose, counterculture maybe. But I am solely acting out of conviction, and it is not an easy road. First, it's hard to explain 'why,' and second maybe hard for people to understand me, I know that I can be weird (I even have reservations about writing this because I don't want anyone to think that I am applying these things to anyone else. These are solely personal convictions/thoughts). The hardest part of this decision is the fact that I know friends are only wanting to show their love for you when they come and bring a gift. Here's the problem. In wanting to celebrate this fun milestone for Isaiah, we are inviting many friends and family to do so with us. I want everyone to come whether they have money for a gift or not. But I fear a couple things.

The first is that at this time in his life Isaiah is not in need or want of anything. This is a fact that I don't want to take for granted. It has happened by no effort of ours, but only by God's grace and blessing. If Isaiah continues to have more than he needs or wants what will he learn to appreciate. If the things around him are in abundance, than he doesn't learn to take care of his things because they are replaceable and disposable. And what about his character, what becomes of a boy who has it all. I grew up in 'the hills,' babysitting for many families where toys were so abundant they didn't even know what toys they had. The toys were carelessly tossed aside as soon as they were received. If a toy had many parts, then well, forget it, cause you couldn't find all the parts in the 'mess.' From the book, To Train Up A Child, "A child raised with commercial gadgets heaped upon his lusts is much more prone to be envious and covetous than the poor child who finds satisfaction in the simple things in life."

And that brings me to my next reason. I have a theory that toys that light up /glow/sing/make noise/spin/shake/giggle/dance are stifling our young babies minds, and possibly even damaging them (just my personal theory). But have you noticed that items such as Baby Einstein videos that were all the rage 8 years ago, now have critics saying whoops, maybe they aren't the best for baby. What happened to books that mom reads (instead of books that read themselves), or instruments that you play (instead of ones that play a tune from the first key you touch), or balls that roll from throwing (instead of the silly ones that baby looks at sideways rolling around by itself), the animals that mom teaches baby the sounds for (instead of the stuffed ones that make their own noises) or even just a plain piece of paper for coloring (instead of a coloring book that tells you what to color). There isn't anything left to be interactive with anymore except electronics (VERY SCARY - for more on this read article 4 referenced at the bottom). We are stifling our babies creativity and our opportunities for interaction and learning by investing in all these gadgets. It's no cliche that my baby's favorite drawers are the ones that hold the pots and pans. It's not a lie to say that his favorite toy is a giant blue rubber ball. And you could all nod your head to say that the favorite place for a child to be is outdoors, exploring the world of leaves, sticks, trees, bugs, water, sand, dirt, animals, rocks, sap, bark, flowers....climbing, running, walking, rolling, swinging, skipping, jumping, it's endless. Learning simplicity and creativity is challenging in our world today. I want to avoid 'the box.'

And speaking of 'box,' that brings me to a final point. I have often just been overwhelmed with my own 'need' of stuff. I look around and I get frustrated with my lack of control when it comes to the latest trend that 'I have to have.' And so little by little, I have attempted to be better about buying only what I 'need' (although to that extent I have A LONG way, and i do mean LONG). We go to the box store and happen upon something that we just have to have. But the problem is that it eventually ends up as clutter. It clutters are footpath, our home, our garage, our lives, our minds. Not to mention the effect that all this 'stuff' has on our spirituality. And finally the effect that it all has on the environment. My friend Kelli directed me to this site http://www.storyofstuff.com/. It's about 20minutes long, but is certainly worth the thought. Something to contemplate. I'm not a band wagon girl, and I don't 'go green,' but do think about the implications of the things we do.

And a final quote. This one really stuck with me, it's from TTUAC (see above), "Never consider your affluence to be an advantage to your children. It is a handicap for which you must compensate. " Yikes, we have a major handicap, and I often don't feel like I have the tools to fix it. None of this is directed at anyone but myself. These are only convictions that I apply to myself and never expect anyone to take on for themselves (unless otherwise led to do so). I will always love giving gifts and will continue to do so....I just am looking for boundaries for our family. I am working off of conviction and may change my position in the future. But for now, and for our one-year-olds party...no presents please (except for the cute ones that match the jungle theme in Isaiah's room....just kidding:)


I'd like to leave you with some statistics that are amazing!



by Focus on the Family
Children can begin to distinguish brands during their preschool years. Six-month-old babies can visualize corporate logos and mascots, according to the Center for a New American Dream. Brand loyalty begins as early as age 2. The average 3-year-old recognizes 100 different brand logos.
Toddlers cannot distinguish a commercial from a television show. The same is true for stories and puzzles versus an advertisement.
It isn’t until age 8 that kids begin to realize advertising can be untruthful or misleading.
As children take in multitudes of commercials, they learn to place worth in material possessions. As they grow, this materialism can contribute to discontentment, unhappy relationships and drug or alcohol abuse.
In 2000, $2 billion was spent on advertising to children in America. Today, that figure has increased to $15 billion.1
One-third of young children have a television in their bedroom, as do two-thirds of pre-teens and teens.2
In a study of more than 1,000 U.S. families, researchers found that 40 percent of 3-month-olds and 90 percent of kids aged 2 years old and younger regularly watch television, DVDs or videos.3
Children greatly influence parental spending. In 2008, households are likely to spend up to $2 billion online for children’s toys, and an average of $172 per household.4
According to advertisers, children under age 3 represent a $20 billion market.5

1 W. Greg Rybert, Sen. "Don't Hold Children Hostage to Ads,"*Island Packet, Opinion (March 2, 2008). Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood, accessed March 20, 2008.
2 Todd Huffman, M.D., "Turning Kids’ Minds Off Consumersism,"*Op-Ed News.com (February 26, 2006). Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood, accessed March 27, 2008.
3 Sheyrl Ubelacker, "TV May Harm Toddlers’ Brain Development,"*Canadian Press (May 8, 2007). Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood, accessed March 27, 2008.
4 Adam Leech, "Smart Toys Teach Without Kids Knowing It,"*Seacoast Online (December 23, 2007). Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood, accessed March 27, 2008.
5 Jason DeRusha, "How Many Brands Do Young Children Recognize?"*WCCO.com (May 14, 2007). Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood, accessed March 27, 2008.
*(Note: Referrals to Web sites not produced by Focus on the Family are for informational purposes only and do not necessarily constitute an endorsement of the sites' content.)